Let's explore a vital distinction: the difference between stress and pressure. Stress, in my view, is a byproduct of pressure. When I talk about pressure, I’m referring to the daily challenges, demands, and expectations that come with being an EM. These pressures include:
•Meeting deadlines, sometimes under tight constraints
•Juggling a multitude of tasks on your to-do list
•Engaging in one-on-one meetings that require thoughtful responses
•Being put on the spot to provide answers in real-time
•Making decisions during group calls
•Managing the expectations of peers, superiors, and team members
•Balancing the demands of individual contributors (ICs) and project managers (PMs)
At times, these pressures can feel overwhelming, if not downright impossible to manage. That’s why it’s crucial for EMs to have a solid strategy for handling these pressures. Failing to do so can lead to rash decisions or emotional reactions, which can negatively affect the team dynamic.
Interestingly, introverts often have a unique advantage in managing this type of pressure. It may not always feel that way, but introverts possess specific strengths that can be incredibly effective in high-pressure situations.
The Two Key Strengths Introverts Bring to Pressure Management
Taking Time to Reflect Before Responding
We’ve all heard of the "yes man" — the person who agrees to everything without giving it proper consideration. But there’s also the "no man," the person who automatically rejects everything to avoid additional workload or complex decisions.
This is a common coping mechanism for those who feel pressure to make immediate decisions. Instead of taking the time to think through a request, they shut it down preemptively. While this might seem like an easy way to avoid additional responsibility, it can create frustration and demoralization within the team. People feel unheard, and it can erode trust in the manager’s leadership.
Now, imagine a situation where your team suggests a minor change to a feature that’s already functioning well. As the EM, instead of quickly agreeing or rejecting the proposal, you listen carefully, ask for more details, and thoughtfully consider the potential benefits. By doing so, you not only give the idea a fair chance, but you also demonstrate that you value your team's input and are open to collaboration.
This careful, reflective approach builds stronger relationships and fosters a more inclusive, positive team culture.
Responding Calmly to Problems
In any workplace, things don’t always go according to plan. Features can malfunction, valuable time can be wasted, and results might fall short of expectations. These setbacks can be disheartening, but how you respond to these challenges can make all the difference.
Let’s say an individual contributor (IC) misses a deadline they promised to meet, which delays the entire project. Anyone would be frustrated by such a situation. However, losing your temper or reprimanding the IC in an emotional outburst will only escalate the situation and further damage morale.
The ripple effects of such reactions can be far-reaching:
•Team members will fear they might be next in line for public reprimands.
•Stress and anxiety levels will rise among your ICs.
•People will feel unsafe sharing their ideas or proposing new solutions.
•The team will become risk-averse and stop pushing for innovative ideas.
•A culture of fear will develop, hindering growth and progress.
In contrast, introverts naturally tend to respond with empathy and understanding. You might take a step back, listen to the IC’s perspective, and work collaboratively to find a solution. This approach not only helps resolve the immediate issue but also strengthens the team’s trust in your leadership.
These qualities—empathy and a calm response to problems—are often part of the introverted manager's inherent strengths, and they are vital when navigating pressure-filled situations.
The Pitfall of Avoidance: A Cautionary Note
While the strengths of introverts—taking the time to consider decisions carefully and responding thoughtfully to issues—are invaluable in managing pressure, there’s also a risk. The temptation to avoid difficult situations altogether can lead to problems piling up, which can result in another form of pressure.
It’s easy for introverts to fall into the trap of continually postponing difficult conversations or decisions. For example, if you have an underperforming team member, it’s tempting to avoid addressing the issue, telling yourself that you’ll handle it later. But when you defer the problem for too long, it doesn’t disappear. In fact, it only grows, leading to:
• Subpar results that reflect poorly on the team.
• Increased workload for you as the manager.
• An underperforming team member who never receives the necessary guidance to improve.
While it’s important to take the time to make decisions thoughtfully, it’s equally important to confront issues head-on when they arise. Avoiding difficult conversations or decisions only creates a longer-term burden and can lead to even greater pressure down the road.
Conclusion Turning Pressure into Opportunity
As an engineering manager, you will face countless pressure-filled situations. This is simply a reality of the role, but how you handle those situations can make or break your team’s success. When it comes to pressure management, introverts possess unique advantages that allow them to thrive:
•They take the time to reflect and carefully consider situations before making decisions.
•They respond with empathy and professionalism, maintaining team morale even during setbacks.
Introverts don’t just handle pressure—they excel in it. By leveraging these strengths, you can not only manage the demands of your role more effectively but also create a positive, productive environment for your team.
The key to thriving under pressure is not rushing into decisions or reacting emotionally, but rather maintaining a level-headed, thoughtful approach that enables you to make the best choices for your team and your projects. With the right mindset, introverted engineering managers can turn pressure into a powerful tool for success.
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