video; un: iceman87

You don't need powers, just training. But sometimes people wake up with a new power or they just have them for awhile.

[Sounds a lot like work and applying himself. He's desperate but not that desperate.]

Yeah, that second part. What you got on that? It just the hero lottery around here or how does it work?

Edited 2020-05-21 17:33 (UTC)

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[Don't engage. Just don't. Just...ignore this.]

Sell your soul. Get turned by a vampire. Practice arcane arts that drive a person mad.

[Dammit. He's shying away from video for now, at least.]

Edited 2020-05-21 17:28 (UTC)

[Man, it's just so weird hearing those words and concepts from that voice without any trace of dry sarcasm.]

We got vampires?

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I understood... pretty much none of that. The words all kind of made sense but not in that order, so I'm gonna assume those were a bunch of pop culture references that I haven't come across yet.

Anyway, you don't need cool powers to survive here. That's... that's literally the only part I understood.

Just emphasizing that I'm really not feeling this time period.

I mean, I'm doing pretty good on the surviving so far, it's just that, y'know, I wouldn't mind a little boost on the side.

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wrap/

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You do speak very strangely, sir...

[He understood very little of that.]

Yeah, that's my panic inflection, my bad.

Ahem.

Apologies, my good man, this city has given me a bad fright and I am finding myself overwhelmed by my inability to shoot lighting out of my bare hands. It plays into deep seated insecurities and the strong wish to not get brutally maimed to death. Which sours my general mood so I am looking for ways to rectify this personal shortcoming.

[It could be snarky but strangely enough, it's... not. At least there's no real annoyance or aggression behind it.]

Are you able to assist?

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Maybe just lay low, nerd.

Hey, you get me some sweet invisibility and I'm gonna peace out, no problem.

And that's hurtful. I'm hurt. Layin' out my soul here 'cause y'all my dream people.

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cw suicide ideaiton ideation

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cw suicide ideaiton

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[With all those pop references, this was clearly a man after Remy's own heart, he grinning away at the feed before choosing to respond to it.] Smart bet would be to use some sort of tech, 'cause most the other ways to get powers without bein' born 'nto it, well, they sound like they suck.

That or learn magic. Like, real magic.

Also, if the person doin' the rescuing be good lookin', might still be worth it.

Oh, I don't mind tech. [He don't mind tech at all.] So where would I get some that isn't, y'know, prehistoric?

And you're actually the second person to suggest magic. [Without the threat of doom and consequence so he thinks he likes this guy better.] Seems to be the name of the game. How's that work around here? You get yourself a teacher?

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Train.

[ Not that Link understood a portion of that, but he's pretty sure he got the gist. ]

[Ugh, what kind of Paladin suggestion is that.]

Realistic options only.

text

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Trust me, cool powers miiiight not be enough to help you kick any orc butt.

[ CASE IN POINT: this useless wizard. ]

[OKAY but sounds like a you problem, Jeff??]

All right, but no cool powers definitely ain't cuttin' it, so. Branchin' out. Explorin' my options. Nike taught me to push beyond my limits, who am I to doubt the sages of advertisement?

[Squint.]

You got powers?

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... why are you informing us of your impending leaking?

To convey a sense of urgency.

[Except h O l y that video and that screen name, like, okay, he met the Flash and already knows robots are a thing and it's probably just to get him excited so his guard will go down--

-- and it's totally working.]

... Are you for real? As in, are you real? Dream real? Are you out there being all... [gesture, gesture at the screen] that?

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I am uncertain that peeing your pants will impart any special abilities...

[Unless it turns out that orcs have a severe aversion to urine in which case, great job unlocking that secret.]

Maybe start with something you are already good at? Most natural talents can be directed into combat in one way or another.

I wasn't, I, that's not what-- I was just--

Look. The peeing is unrelated.

So far.

[Don't give him ideas, Penny. Coming to think of it, it worked in Jurassic Park? Sort of?]

I'm a tailor. I can make y'all look fashionable while you go do your thing and I've been helpin' out at the smithy but this is more about those times where you go home at 3 a.m. and giant nightmare wolves wanna play fetch with your leg.

Hey, powers are cool and all, but you don't really need them to kick butt.

[ Just saying. Even with her Slayer abilities, sometimes all she needs to get things done is a well-aimed punch and sharp kick. ]

How good are you at punching?

[ And because she can't ever pass up an opportunity to be a little trolly, she adds: ]

You know there's bathrooms around here, right?

Edited 2020-05-25 21:16 (UTC)

Oh, I can throw a punch.

[Highly debatable.]

If my opponent is a squishy human with human skin and human impact reactions and human size and muscle mass.

[Still debatable.]

And not, you know, a mean, green killer machine marchin' up straight from Mordor. I don't even know why they're here? Who'd want this town?

[Wow, Buffy. But he always likes a good banter, it reminds him of home.]

I don't believe in 'em. You remember what happened to that lawyer in Jurassic Park? Uh-uh. Ain't gonna be me.

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There were a lot of words in what you just said, but together they made little to no sense.

Edited 2020-05-27 01:33 (UTC)

Is the pop culture around here from the 1950s too because I am starting a petition.

Okay, uh. I wanna cheat the dream for some sick powers so I can stop crying myself to sleep at night.

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I just want it to be known right now that I'm a shark. Because sharks are cooler than jets.

I please don't hump anything, that's gross and I don't think it's going to get you powers.

No idea where you can get some powers. I'm not sure if people here work like they do back where I'm from. We just kind of get one there.

I could probably hook you up with a weapon if you want. It'd be a step in the right direction if you want to defend yourself.

Got the way better theme song, too.

And I wasn't-- that was just-- I was conveying a sense of urgency here, and--

[Right. Focusing on the weapons!]

A weapon would be pretty sweet, all right. [Wait. He squints at the screen name.] Are you Ruby, by any chance?

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There's no shame in accepting assistance when you require it.

[ The workshop in the background catches K's attention. This Sleeper mentioned being a tailor in one of the replies, and combined with what he said about being rescued one more time, it clearly suggests he may be lacking in the combat department.

Which is easily remedied. ]

How adept are you at unarmed combat? And do you know how to use firearms?

Oh, I have no shame at all, there ain't a bone of shame in this body, like, I'mma call you all up at 3 a.m. to cry warg and you better missile-drop out of the sky.

I mean, yeah, I can hold my own against fellow humans.

[Maybe. Sometimes. If only one of those humans attack at a time and he has some assistance and luck.]

And yeah, I've shot guns before.

[Hitting things, on the other hand...]

I just feel like giant warg-riding death machines are kind of another caliber, you know?

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Learn to survive under your own merit or perish.

[The words are curt and dismissive, the tone of someone who can't be bothered with too much nonsense. The voice itself is smooth and low, a soft-spoken tone that definitely doesn't match the demonic visage they're coming from.]

If you wish to learn to fight, I can teach you that much, provided you are willing to put forth actual effort.

I mean, thanks for the offer but I think Obi-Wan would be pretty mad if I took you up on that.

[Yeah, so being genre-savvy apparently doesn't protect you from being an absolute dumbass.

He'd probably take this a bit more seriously if he wasn't still convinced that this was nothing but a simulation. Look, having the Flash, Ironhide, Link, a shitton of really cool robots and now Darth freaking Maul in one place really doesn't help with the notion that this isn't just one giant, tailored-to-his-geek-mind and slightly bizarre interrogation technique.]

If you got some kyber crystals to spare though, I wouldn't say no.

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