The Story of Spam Volume 5
One day, in the current past, William Shakesphere was sitting down at his desk dribbling out his latest play. He laughed as he wrote, laughing and laughing. "If anyone tkaes this shit seriously, I pity the fools!"
Anyway, that was then-- this is now, or so we hope.
We begin by focusing on a typical couple. All they did in life was to eat spam and read the newspaper. They may occasionally breathe and measure their lipline to ensure that they continued to be Spammists. However, then, they got a strange visitor at their door step. The opened the door and were in shock to what they saw.
"Oh, Murph", the husband said, "It's only you."
"Ick, honey", the wife said, "that beard is grotesque!"
Murph came in to the room and stumbled and possessed the cat.
The cat, in general, was not amused.
Meow was its exact words.
At that exact moment in the history of the known and unknown universe, a blimp by the name USS Big Momma collided with the submarine USS Penetrator. Some people called it the freak accident of the century, other just claimed that the entire incident was just sick. The people who witnessed this incident were in shock and were committed to insane asylums and became the first reborn Spammists. The real teacher to come out of this experience was known as Joshua Johnston. Eric Leach doesn't count. The real teacher showed us how to really think about Spammists, the first one since the rebirth to Gavin. He showed us how to really pick on Scum, otherwise known as Nate Brigham. Scum, however, defended himself admirably using the now well known practice of Fellistu, which to some human beings, can be a fatal blow. Unknown to most of humanity, Hiroshima was not attacked by an atomic bomb. They just dropped Nate Brighman and with lightning fast hands, he felt all the occupants of the city and killed them instantly, causing them to self-combust and burn the buildings. The US military was shocked at this power and decided to brainsuck Nate from this power. Nate lost most of the knowledge, but still retains enough to cause people to scream.
Murph then came out of the cat and the beard was still attached to him. his last ditch attempt to get the beard off of him failed. The beard itself was a life form, a individual personality, endevoring to take what it wanted. For some reason it chose Murph. We are still trying to out why. However, Murph was overtaken and this time, for good. His attempt to put his mind into the cat failed. The cat had more intelligence and wisdom than Murph, and frankly, was really pissed. The cat went over to Murph and licked his lips off. The lips couldn't stand it anymore and decided that Murph's sexual preferences was too much for them and they ran away. Murph was dating a little kitty known as Morris and frankly, that was the last straw.
Then, suddenely, reality was shifted into a Street Fighter mode. Nate suddenely found himself facing Abner Morris. The bell rang and Abner Morris tried his ever popular "Let's sit on Nate" maneuver. Nate retaliated by doing "Sonic FEEL" and felt Abner's ears, causing great sound feelitzu. Abner then tried to eat Nate -- after all, to Abner, Nate was the size of his latest snack. Then Abner got Nate into a pin and did his latest new defense. "nahnahnahnahnahnahnahnahnahnahnahnahnah
Nate was horrified.
William Shakespere woke from his dream. "Ooh, that's horrifying." Then he had a dream about Tanaka and Resa and write Romeo and Juliet, the REAL PERVERSE version (which was never found) andthen knew, humanity was doomed.
Nate Nate Nate with the gotta feel it card.
Josh Josh Josh with the gotta grope it card.
Nate was working in his lab, coming up with the newest starship technology. Early in spaceflight, they had physical switch and knobs that made lots and lots of beeping and clicking noises that were to designed to annoy you. Then, touchpads were made which beep and click, and still annoyed people. Nate decided to make the imput keys themselves annoying, and was developing FEELpads. All starship commands could be executed by a simple one feel operation. Now there was no annoying key sequences that had to be entered into the computer. Now with a simple swipe of the hand, all of them could be triggered at once! Not only did this speed up the efficiently of a show, it caused the computer to scream; a blessing compared to the beep and clicks of the normal computers of the older ships.
Anyway, that was then-- this is now, or so we hope.
We begin by focusing on a typical couple. All they did in life was to eat spam and read the newspaper. They may occasionally breathe and measure their lipline to ensure that they continued to be Spammists. However, then, they got a strange visitor at their door step. The opened the door and were in shock to what they saw.
"Oh, Murph", the husband said, "It's only you."
"Ick, honey", the wife said, "that beard is grotesque!"
Murph came in to the room and stumbled and possessed the cat.
The cat, in general, was not amused.
Meow was its exact words.
At that exact moment in the history of the known and unknown universe, a blimp by the name USS Big Momma collided with the submarine USS Penetrator. Some people called it the freak accident of the century, other just claimed that the entire incident was just sick. The people who witnessed this incident were in shock and were committed to insane asylums and became the first reborn Spammists. The real teacher to come out of this experience was known as Joshua Johnston. Eric Leach doesn't count. The real teacher showed us how to really think about Spammists, the first one since the rebirth to Gavin. He showed us how to really pick on Scum, otherwise known as Nate Brigham. Scum, however, defended himself admirably using the now well known practice of Fellistu, which to some human beings, can be a fatal blow. Unknown to most of humanity, Hiroshima was not attacked by an atomic bomb. They just dropped Nate Brighman and with lightning fast hands, he felt all the occupants of the city and killed them instantly, causing them to self-combust and burn the buildings. The US military was shocked at this power and decided to brainsuck Nate from this power. Nate lost most of the knowledge, but still retains enough to cause people to scream.
Murph then came out of the cat and the beard was still attached to him. his last ditch attempt to get the beard off of him failed. The beard itself was a life form, a individual personality, endevoring to take what it wanted. For some reason it chose Murph. We are still trying to out why. However, Murph was overtaken and this time, for good. His attempt to put his mind into the cat failed. The cat had more intelligence and wisdom than Murph, and frankly, was really pissed. The cat went over to Murph and licked his lips off. The lips couldn't stand it anymore and decided that Murph's sexual preferences was too much for them and they ran away. Murph was dating a little kitty known as Morris and frankly, that was the last straw.
Then, suddenely, reality was shifted into a Street Fighter mode. Nate suddenely found himself facing Abner Morris. The bell rang and Abner Morris tried his ever popular "Let's sit on Nate" maneuver. Nate retaliated by doing "Sonic FEEL" and felt Abner's ears, causing great sound feelitzu. Abner then tried to eat Nate -- after all, to Abner, Nate was the size of his latest snack. Then Abner got Nate into a pin and did his latest new defense. "nahnahnahnahnahnahnahnahnahnahnahnahnah
Nate was horrified.
William Shakespere woke from his dream. "Ooh, that's horrifying." Then he had a dream about Tanaka and Resa and write Romeo and Juliet, the REAL PERVERSE version (which was never found) andthen knew, humanity was doomed.
Nate Nate Nate with the gotta feel it card.
Josh Josh Josh with the gotta grope it card.
Nate was working in his lab, coming up with the newest starship technology. Early in spaceflight, they had physical switch and knobs that made lots and lots of beeping and clicking noises that were to designed to annoy you. Then, touchpads were made which beep and click, and still annoyed people. Nate decided to make the imput keys themselves annoying, and was developing FEELpads. All starship commands could be executed by a simple one feel operation. Now there was no annoying key sequences that had to be entered into the computer. Now with a simple swipe of the hand, all of them could be triggered at once! Not only did this speed up the efficiently of a show, it caused the computer to scream; a blessing compared to the beep and clicks of the normal computers of the older ships.