my new favorite thing?

why
it would have to be

having a crumb under my pinky that i drag across the mousepad so i wipe my hand on my pants and it's still there so i do it again and it's still there so people laugh loud about it cuz it's not happening to them so i wipe my finger again and it's still motherfucking THERE so i grab the mousepad and yank it off the desk and wipe the whole pad on my leg so now they're really laughing hard and heavy because, again, it's not happening to them so i grab a letter opener and stab the living shit out of their chest over and over and over and over and over again and again and again as i scream like winslow leach just after he zaps the shit out of beef with that neon lightening bolt and then i sit at my desk and look at the monitor and i have no idea what the fuck i was trying to do in the first place.

i mean
at times like that
you just gotta laugh, man!