this is what we call: "a penis movie"

Oh such beautiful natural landscapes of EnglaNUN RAPE ORGY UNHOLY VISIONS ROMAN COCK SERPENT JESUS FEVER DREAM.

This movie is fucking insane in all the right ways. Hugh Grant wields a giant sword. There are phallic symbols in every scene. There are the silliest dream sequences you can imagine, and there are other parts that look like they could've been the rough draft for the Black Lodge sequences on Twin Peaks. There's an absurdly convoluted backstory, and it manages to fit in snakes, vampires, dragons, the Romans, pagans, and more into an hour and a half.

October count: 14/31.

peter capaldi excavates a giant skull and screams “YEEHAW” in the first scene and that is the least weird thing that happens in this movie

"whoops i dropped my monster condom that I use for my magnum dong"

- Lady Sylvia Marsh

finding out that Hugh Grant starred in a Ken Russell-directed ‘80s vampiric psychosexual horror made my day and watching him cut a snake-person in half with a giant sword made my century

great job director of photography dick bush

whatever happened to throwing in a cheeky saxophone riff every time there’s a hot lady onscreen

i don't understand how ken russell can be a straight guy when he makes films like this, like, how? how does that make any sense? it doesn't seem possible... the world is filled with miracles.

UNBELIEVABLY horny and deranged 5/5

Great early performances by Hugh Grant and Peter Capaldi

dream sequences that I can only describe as “Encarta porn”

we stan a trans snake vamp with a strap-on