Experpt from the abusive woman: characteristics
Feel free to comment on your experiences with these common characteristics of abusive women:
-Are very good at fooling people.
-Attract men into relationships the same way abusive and sadistic men attract women by being very nice in the courtship phase, building up his self-esteem. This type of woman often picks a very nice and nurturing man who likes to take care of people, i.e., police officers, ministers, and is a problem solver. She also picks a man who does not like confrontation or anger, perhaps because he was emotionally abused as a child or was taught that anger is wrong. In the beginning of the relationship she rarely shows anger, seems to love sex, and lets him be in control. They show glimpses of their true personality, but the man says to himself, "that's not the real her". Once she feels that she has his love, she begins to switch from positive to negative, putting down her husband and degrading him, being displeased with him and blaming him for every wrong she imagines she has suffered. He keeps trying to "solve the problem" by changing and doing what she wants. What he does not realize, because he is a problem-solver, is that she doesn't want the problem solved. She keeps changing what she wants to keep him off balance. "Before we were married, she was so wonderful. Mary brought me meals at work with sweet little notes in them. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. The day we got married was the last day she ever cooked a thing for me."
-Are very good at fooling people.
-Attract men into relationships the same way abusive and sadistic men attract women by being very nice in the courtship phase, building up his self-esteem. This type of woman often picks a very nice and nurturing man who likes to take care of people, i.e., police officers, ministers, and is a problem solver. She also picks a man who does not like confrontation or anger, perhaps because he was emotionally abused as a child or was taught that anger is wrong. In the beginning of the relationship she rarely shows anger, seems to love sex, and lets him be in control. They show glimpses of their true personality, but the man says to himself, "that's not the real her". Once she feels that she has his love, she begins to switch from positive to negative, putting down her husband and degrading him, being displeased with him and blaming him for every wrong she imagines she has suffered. He keeps trying to "solve the problem" by changing and doing what she wants. What he does not realize, because he is a problem-solver, is that she doesn't want the problem solved. She keeps changing what she wants to keep him off balance. "Before we were married, she was so wonderful. Mary brought me meals at work with sweet little notes in them. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. The day we got married was the last day she ever cooked a thing for me."