A selection from my novel Winter Sunrises
This is from somewhere near the first third of my novel Winter Sunrises, where the heroine Lysandra and her foster brother/best friend Stefan play together despite their jealous older brother's taunts. They're both about 8-9 years old - and the novel is somewhat of a modern Wuthering Heights.
In this scene we see Lysa making some new friends in a wealthier area of town - however, they exclude Stefan and it challenges their friendship.
Feel free to critique if you want, I'm in the process of revising the whole piece and sending it out to agents and publishers.
Lysa knew her father wasn't feeling well again, he slept in on weekends and went to bed right after work, complaining of different aches and pains. Mom worried about him, constantly asking him to go to the doctor, but he said he was just getting older.
Richard got mad when Dad slept instead of watching him play baseball or taking him fishing. When he was at home with his parents, he sometimes refused to do chores or walk with Lysandra and Stefan to the park.
And Richard bullied Stefan sometimes, harassing him with mental games and insults. So far he'd never hit him, but he called him "ghetto trash" and other names and threatened to get him sent away. Lysa couldn't believe her brother was so mean. They'd had their fights when they were younger, but now he was so mature, so grown up, even talking about marrying Holly in a few years.
She knew Stefan realized Richard didn't like him, and sometimes he teased back. Usually though, he'd just stay silent and glare, the way he had when the teacher had sent him to stand in the corner.
At least Dad was still kind to her playmate. He often gave him hugs and took him on trips to the nearby playground, and brought him back special candy treats from the downtown boutiques.
And Richard wasn't home very often in the afternoons, even when he was supposed to baby-sit her and Stefan after baseball practice. Mom paid him a bit for watching them, since she wanted to help him get the Porsche his friend Mike still had waiting for him. She told them both they'd be safe with Richard, he was very responsible and protective. At least he used to be, thought Lysa. But she didn't complain, since she and Stefan were often left alone with each other now. If Mom found a real sitter, there would be more rules and they'd have to stay home where she could see them.
They enjoyed trips through the small used bookstore on the edge of town, and would read through the piles of musty volumes. The shop's owner never said anything to them, thinking if people saw someone inside the store reading, they might also come in to check things out and generate more business. So he just smiled and greeted the children on their afternoon excursions.
Lysandra would often search for a love story or a collection of Shakespeare's sonnets, reading aloud to Stefan: "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate. Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, and every fair from fair sometimes changes…"
Stefan would always interrupt: "Why would you compare me to summer? I don't want to be like summer. I'd rather be like a hurricane, or a thunderstorm." He preferred adventure novels, and read through the Count of Monte Cristo and Robinson Crusoe until he knew them well enough to reenact the most dramatic scenes with Lysandra while they played outside.
Next to the bookstore, workers hammered on the planks of a new housing development. Stefan and Lysandra could often hear the clanking of tools and the buzzing of saws as they pored over torrid specimens of literature. And sometimes they would run outside and watch as they constructed what was soon to be an area of luxury homes. Right now the area consisted mainly of a few building frames, tentatively poised against the wildness of the billowing dust.
They fantasized about who would move into the new place. Stefan hoped for other rowdy boys his own age to play with, and Lysandra hoped for a family that would let her and Stefan become their close friends and allow them to escape the sadness that often permeated their own home.
Many months later, Rick eventually went to the doctor, and on that day Stefan and Lysandra ran off together after school. They wandered over towards the bookstore, and stared off in the direction of the new housing development. The homes were finished by now, and each looked almost identical, off-white with rich, red-orange Spanish-style roof and trim of the same color. They had large velvety lawns, with sprinklers set to drench every inch of the foliage, and what looked like three-car garages. A child peered out of the small third-story window of one home, looking confused and lost amidst the opulence, his face and hands pressed firmly against the glass pane.
"C'mon, let's go explore," Stefan urged Lysandra as he pulled on her arm. The two of them ran around the neighborhood, unfettered by anything but their natural, youthful curiosity.
They reached a tall wooden fence, newly painted a shade of reddish-brown, enclosing a community lawn and a neatly trimmed garden of impatiens, petunias, pansies, and marigolds. "What's on the other side of that?" Lysandra asked.
"I don't know, but you can grab that tree branch over there and put your foot on my shoulder, and climb up and see." She did so, and peered over the top of the fence for a brief moment before an insect startled her. Jumping, she knocked herself and Stefan to the concrete below. She landed hard, bruising her hip and right arm.
"Ouch!" The two of them lay in a tumble upon the ground, arms and legs mixed up and splayed out in all directions. Stefan moved to adjust himself, and found himself lying almost on top of her. "You okay?"
"Yeah, if you'll just get off me so I can get up," she shrieked.
"Hey you! Get away from her, and never come back here again!" A woman from one of the development's homes stood in front of the children, and yelled at Stefan while she extended a hand to Lysandra.
Lysa looked up at her, and realized with horror that the lady must think that Stefan was harassing or attacking her. She started to yell back. "No! He's my friend! We're okay!" but the woman did not hear.
She continued talking, urging Lysa to come with her, to step inside for a moment to rest. Lysa stood up on her own and took a step towards Stefan, but he turned and ran away before anyone could say anything. After he'd gone a few yards, she saw him turn back for one hostile second to glare at the strange woman the way he did at his classmates and his bullying brother, but then he disappeared around a corner.
Lysandra figured that she might as well enter the house for a moment - after all, she would not be deserting Stefan since he was already gone, and she was incredibly curious about this place. And she could tell her friend all about her adventure when she got back home.
The woman sat her down on her plush lavender couch while she went into the kitchen to fix a cup of herbal tea. "I'm fine. We were just playing, and I tripped," she called, only to hear the lady whisper something to someone else. She couldn't make out all the words over the murmuring dishwasher, but it didn't sound good.
Irritated by the woman's harsh words to Stefan, and by her refusal to listen to her and understand the situation, Lysandra at first refused to make herself comfortable. She perched awkwardly on the couch and stared straight ahead at the front door.
After a while, though, she turned to glance at the rosewood table to her side and noticed a clear glass globe containing an elegant turquoise figurine of a German Shepherd. The animal reminded her of the dog she and Stefan used to play with near their home, but this creature seemed fundamentally different. It lacked the vivacity, the energy, and the wildness of their favorite friend. In fact, it slouched, as if almost ready to sleep. Yet it was safe, protected by the thick and impervious glass walls - a safety that Lysa craved, with her father's precarious health and her collapsing home situation.
She relaxed, and threw herself back against the lavender pillows. The woman came back out with tea in a small porcelain cup with a saucer. She introduced herself as Mrs. Marshall, and told Lysandra to stay as long as she wanted.
Her husband was at work, and her two children were at school. They attended a faraway private school, and went to special workshops afterwards for high-achieving children, some of whom went on to attend Harvard or Yale. Mrs. Marshall had stayed home in order to meet and advise a repairman, who was going to have a look at the refrigerator. But the children would be home soon, and would love to meet their new neighbor, she was sure.
Lysa finally allowed herself to look around the room. It was actually quite lovely, with an off-white carpet and a few throw rugs that matched the couch. A baby grand piano, with keys that looked almost like real ivory, rested against the sidewall. Delicately woven violet wall hangings covered the walls, and a rosewood bookshelf against the wall in front of her contained two brand new and seemingly unused sets of encyclopedias, several travel and cruise books in the same condition, and a large stereo, television set, and DVD player.
Mrs. Marshall noticed Lysa glancing at the books, and commented that she liked to read, but was "not much for novels," preferring nonfiction, especially the Atlantic Monthly and The New Yorker, which she thought her young friend would appreciate once she grew older. She asked her if she would like some more tea and a few cookies, and Lysa accepted.
The door opened, and the Marshall children walked in, removed their backpacks and their shoes, and gently sat down. The girl had soft, perfectly curled blond hair, blue eyes, and long, polished fingernails, and wore a pale blue summer dress. She sat on the couch next to Lysandra.
Her brother, with short, neatly trimmed blond hair, blue eyes, and an indigo and white checked polo shirt and slacks, sat in the lavender recliner. Both children eyed Lysa curiously, and looked surprised to see a houseguest in grass-stained overalls and flip-flops. Lysa glanced down at herself, and was for the first time embarrassed by the dirt underneath her fingernails and by her rumpled, tomboyish clothing. She hoped that these new people would not think too badly of her.
At their mother's prompting, the girl introduced herself as Caroline, and the boy as Charles. Caroline was slightly older than Lysandra, and was already in the sixth grade, and her brother was in seventh.
After a few more minutes of conversation, Lysandra decided she should go home and politely excused herself. Mrs. Marshall asked if she wouldn't like to stay and enjoy dinner with the family, but as Lysandra was and it was getting late, she decided to leave. On her way out, Mrs. Marshall gave her one more cookie for the road, and also an old hand-me-down lavender summer dress that her daughter had outgrown.
"Here, you might like this, it looks almost like Caroline's, the girls are wearing styles like this now."
"Thank you," Lysa replied.
Walking back to her own home, Lysa thought about how friendly her new neighbors were. They had welcomed her into their home, given her food and pretty clothing, and talked with her for a while. And here was a family without severe worries over money, at least so far without hostility and arguments, and also without constant fears of losing someone.
Perhaps her wish had been granted - she had found the stable family she was seeking. She could go and hang out with them again, do up her hair and wear the summer dress or some of her other nicer clothes, get to know Caroline and Charles.
Maybe she would bring Stefan, she could try again to get them to like him - or maybe not. He was a great friend in many ways, they had fun together - but he could be so negative sometimes. He could at least have tried to talk to the Marshalls rather than just running away, she thought. He had no right to make her feel guilty for trying to find other friends, especially when she'd never had a group of friends her age before.
When she returned home, she found Stefan waiting for her in the yard. "What took you so long?" he asked derisively. "Too busy with your new fancy friends to come back and talk to dirty old Stefan?"
"Oh, stop it! The lady doesn't know you, it was just a misunderstanding. She would have let you come in with me, but you just ran away too fast before I could explain. And they were extremely nice to me, and the mother let me have one of her old summer dresses."
"Well, good for you! I'm sure you'll have no problem making new friends when you get rid of me!”
She opened her mouth to scold him again, but Mom interrupted her and called for both of them to come inside. Her face was rumpled and her hair messy, as if she had been crying.
Once inside, she called for Richard to come out of his bedroom and join them. He grumpily refused at first, but came after her shrill insistence. "Children, I have some very sad news for you, and I need us all to join hands and pray." She paused, as if not sure she had the strength to deliver whatever news she had.
"Children…your father and I went to the doctor today, and …his cancer is back. It's spread into the lymph nodes this time, and that means there's little they can do for him." She shook, as if about to burst into another round of tears, but Lysandra took her hand to comfort her.
In this scene we see Lysa making some new friends in a wealthier area of town - however, they exclude Stefan and it challenges their friendship.
Feel free to critique if you want, I'm in the process of revising the whole piece and sending it out to agents and publishers.
Lysa knew her father wasn't feeling well again, he slept in on weekends and went to bed right after work, complaining of different aches and pains. Mom worried about him, constantly asking him to go to the doctor, but he said he was just getting older.
Richard got mad when Dad slept instead of watching him play baseball or taking him fishing. When he was at home with his parents, he sometimes refused to do chores or walk with Lysandra and Stefan to the park.
And Richard bullied Stefan sometimes, harassing him with mental games and insults. So far he'd never hit him, but he called him "ghetto trash" and other names and threatened to get him sent away. Lysa couldn't believe her brother was so mean. They'd had their fights when they were younger, but now he was so mature, so grown up, even talking about marrying Holly in a few years.
She knew Stefan realized Richard didn't like him, and sometimes he teased back. Usually though, he'd just stay silent and glare, the way he had when the teacher had sent him to stand in the corner.
At least Dad was still kind to her playmate. He often gave him hugs and took him on trips to the nearby playground, and brought him back special candy treats from the downtown boutiques.
And Richard wasn't home very often in the afternoons, even when he was supposed to baby-sit her and Stefan after baseball practice. Mom paid him a bit for watching them, since she wanted to help him get the Porsche his friend Mike still had waiting for him. She told them both they'd be safe with Richard, he was very responsible and protective. At least he used to be, thought Lysa. But she didn't complain, since she and Stefan were often left alone with each other now. If Mom found a real sitter, there would be more rules and they'd have to stay home where she could see them.
They enjoyed trips through the small used bookstore on the edge of town, and would read through the piles of musty volumes. The shop's owner never said anything to them, thinking if people saw someone inside the store reading, they might also come in to check things out and generate more business. So he just smiled and greeted the children on their afternoon excursions.
Lysandra would often search for a love story or a collection of Shakespeare's sonnets, reading aloud to Stefan: "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate. Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, and every fair from fair sometimes changes…"
Stefan would always interrupt: "Why would you compare me to summer? I don't want to be like summer. I'd rather be like a hurricane, or a thunderstorm." He preferred adventure novels, and read through the Count of Monte Cristo and Robinson Crusoe until he knew them well enough to reenact the most dramatic scenes with Lysandra while they played outside.
Next to the bookstore, workers hammered on the planks of a new housing development. Stefan and Lysandra could often hear the clanking of tools and the buzzing of saws as they pored over torrid specimens of literature. And sometimes they would run outside and watch as they constructed what was soon to be an area of luxury homes. Right now the area consisted mainly of a few building frames, tentatively poised against the wildness of the billowing dust.
They fantasized about who would move into the new place. Stefan hoped for other rowdy boys his own age to play with, and Lysandra hoped for a family that would let her and Stefan become their close friends and allow them to escape the sadness that often permeated their own home.
Many months later, Rick eventually went to the doctor, and on that day Stefan and Lysandra ran off together after school. They wandered over towards the bookstore, and stared off in the direction of the new housing development. The homes were finished by now, and each looked almost identical, off-white with rich, red-orange Spanish-style roof and trim of the same color. They had large velvety lawns, with sprinklers set to drench every inch of the foliage, and what looked like three-car garages. A child peered out of the small third-story window of one home, looking confused and lost amidst the opulence, his face and hands pressed firmly against the glass pane.
"C'mon, let's go explore," Stefan urged Lysandra as he pulled on her arm. The two of them ran around the neighborhood, unfettered by anything but their natural, youthful curiosity.
They reached a tall wooden fence, newly painted a shade of reddish-brown, enclosing a community lawn and a neatly trimmed garden of impatiens, petunias, pansies, and marigolds. "What's on the other side of that?" Lysandra asked.
"I don't know, but you can grab that tree branch over there and put your foot on my shoulder, and climb up and see." She did so, and peered over the top of the fence for a brief moment before an insect startled her. Jumping, she knocked herself and Stefan to the concrete below. She landed hard, bruising her hip and right arm.
"Ouch!" The two of them lay in a tumble upon the ground, arms and legs mixed up and splayed out in all directions. Stefan moved to adjust himself, and found himself lying almost on top of her. "You okay?"
"Yeah, if you'll just get off me so I can get up," she shrieked.
"Hey you! Get away from her, and never come back here again!" A woman from one of the development's homes stood in front of the children, and yelled at Stefan while she extended a hand to Lysandra.
Lysa looked up at her, and realized with horror that the lady must think that Stefan was harassing or attacking her. She started to yell back. "No! He's my friend! We're okay!" but the woman did not hear.
She continued talking, urging Lysa to come with her, to step inside for a moment to rest. Lysa stood up on her own and took a step towards Stefan, but he turned and ran away before anyone could say anything. After he'd gone a few yards, she saw him turn back for one hostile second to glare at the strange woman the way he did at his classmates and his bullying brother, but then he disappeared around a corner.
Lysandra figured that she might as well enter the house for a moment - after all, she would not be deserting Stefan since he was already gone, and she was incredibly curious about this place. And she could tell her friend all about her adventure when she got back home.
The woman sat her down on her plush lavender couch while she went into the kitchen to fix a cup of herbal tea. "I'm fine. We were just playing, and I tripped," she called, only to hear the lady whisper something to someone else. She couldn't make out all the words over the murmuring dishwasher, but it didn't sound good.
Irritated by the woman's harsh words to Stefan, and by her refusal to listen to her and understand the situation, Lysandra at first refused to make herself comfortable. She perched awkwardly on the couch and stared straight ahead at the front door.
After a while, though, she turned to glance at the rosewood table to her side and noticed a clear glass globe containing an elegant turquoise figurine of a German Shepherd. The animal reminded her of the dog she and Stefan used to play with near their home, but this creature seemed fundamentally different. It lacked the vivacity, the energy, and the wildness of their favorite friend. In fact, it slouched, as if almost ready to sleep. Yet it was safe, protected by the thick and impervious glass walls - a safety that Lysa craved, with her father's precarious health and her collapsing home situation.
She relaxed, and threw herself back against the lavender pillows. The woman came back out with tea in a small porcelain cup with a saucer. She introduced herself as Mrs. Marshall, and told Lysandra to stay as long as she wanted.
Her husband was at work, and her two children were at school. They attended a faraway private school, and went to special workshops afterwards for high-achieving children, some of whom went on to attend Harvard or Yale. Mrs. Marshall had stayed home in order to meet and advise a repairman, who was going to have a look at the refrigerator. But the children would be home soon, and would love to meet their new neighbor, she was sure.
Lysa finally allowed herself to look around the room. It was actually quite lovely, with an off-white carpet and a few throw rugs that matched the couch. A baby grand piano, with keys that looked almost like real ivory, rested against the sidewall. Delicately woven violet wall hangings covered the walls, and a rosewood bookshelf against the wall in front of her contained two brand new and seemingly unused sets of encyclopedias, several travel and cruise books in the same condition, and a large stereo, television set, and DVD player.
Mrs. Marshall noticed Lysa glancing at the books, and commented that she liked to read, but was "not much for novels," preferring nonfiction, especially the Atlantic Monthly and The New Yorker, which she thought her young friend would appreciate once she grew older. She asked her if she would like some more tea and a few cookies, and Lysa accepted.
The door opened, and the Marshall children walked in, removed their backpacks and their shoes, and gently sat down. The girl had soft, perfectly curled blond hair, blue eyes, and long, polished fingernails, and wore a pale blue summer dress. She sat on the couch next to Lysandra.
Her brother, with short, neatly trimmed blond hair, blue eyes, and an indigo and white checked polo shirt and slacks, sat in the lavender recliner. Both children eyed Lysa curiously, and looked surprised to see a houseguest in grass-stained overalls and flip-flops. Lysa glanced down at herself, and was for the first time embarrassed by the dirt underneath her fingernails and by her rumpled, tomboyish clothing. She hoped that these new people would not think too badly of her.
At their mother's prompting, the girl introduced herself as Caroline, and the boy as Charles. Caroline was slightly older than Lysandra, and was already in the sixth grade, and her brother was in seventh.
After a few more minutes of conversation, Lysandra decided she should go home and politely excused herself. Mrs. Marshall asked if she wouldn't like to stay and enjoy dinner with the family, but as Lysandra was and it was getting late, she decided to leave. On her way out, Mrs. Marshall gave her one more cookie for the road, and also an old hand-me-down lavender summer dress that her daughter had outgrown.
"Here, you might like this, it looks almost like Caroline's, the girls are wearing styles like this now."
"Thank you," Lysa replied.
Walking back to her own home, Lysa thought about how friendly her new neighbors were. They had welcomed her into their home, given her food and pretty clothing, and talked with her for a while. And here was a family without severe worries over money, at least so far without hostility and arguments, and also without constant fears of losing someone.
Perhaps her wish had been granted - she had found the stable family she was seeking. She could go and hang out with them again, do up her hair and wear the summer dress or some of her other nicer clothes, get to know Caroline and Charles.
Maybe she would bring Stefan, she could try again to get them to like him - or maybe not. He was a great friend in many ways, they had fun together - but he could be so negative sometimes. He could at least have tried to talk to the Marshalls rather than just running away, she thought. He had no right to make her feel guilty for trying to find other friends, especially when she'd never had a group of friends her age before.
When she returned home, she found Stefan waiting for her in the yard. "What took you so long?" he asked derisively. "Too busy with your new fancy friends to come back and talk to dirty old Stefan?"
"Oh, stop it! The lady doesn't know you, it was just a misunderstanding. She would have let you come in with me, but you just ran away too fast before I could explain. And they were extremely nice to me, and the mother let me have one of her old summer dresses."
"Well, good for you! I'm sure you'll have no problem making new friends when you get rid of me!”
She opened her mouth to scold him again, but Mom interrupted her and called for both of them to come inside. Her face was rumpled and her hair messy, as if she had been crying.
Once inside, she called for Richard to come out of his bedroom and join them. He grumpily refused at first, but came after her shrill insistence. "Children, I have some very sad news for you, and I need us all to join hands and pray." She paused, as if not sure she had the strength to deliver whatever news she had.
"Children…your father and I went to the doctor today, and …his cancer is back. It's spread into the lymph nodes this time, and that means there's little they can do for him." She shook, as if about to burst into another round of tears, but Lysandra took her hand to comfort her.