Massive overview of the last several months!
So... I've been kinda busy. And it doesn't look like it will get much better any time soon. Therefore, I'm changing the format of my weekly updates: No longer will I deliver complete results for the shows. I have neither the time nor, honestly, the inclination to spend that much time writing these updates. Henceforth, I will deliver a summary of the important and/or interesting developments that occurred over the previous week.
This week, of course, we're going to cover a lot more ground. Big things have happened in the wide world of WWE since my last update.
January and the Royal Rumble
On Raw, Sheamus got better at promos, so he's less boring. John Cena looked like his main challenger for the WWE championship, but then Randy Orton defeated Kofi Kingston and Cena (with some helpful interference from his Legacy cohorts) to become the #1 contender. Ted Dibiase & Cody Rhodes continued to look fantastic in the ring. Then they got some sibling rivalry going (who's better looking, etc.), which only worsened when they lost matches to Cena & Kofi and then to DX.
At the Rumble, Orton was clearly the face in his championship match against Sheamus; the crowd was behind him the whole time. But Cody came in at the last minute to interfere, causing Orton to lose by DQ. Orton got pissed and went after Cody; Ted came in and tried to break it up, and Orton turned on him too. Sheamus took the opportunity to hit a bicycle kick to Orton's head, after which Ted & Cody left and Orton got some major sympathy from the crowd.
Chris Jericho continued to fight his ban from Raw with picketing (he brought out the "Conspiracy Victim" sign again, LOL!), a petition, and other wacky fun. He also recruited guest host Mike Tyson to fight DX, only for Tyson to turn on him (like everybody else, what a bunch of poop-heads).
Shawn Michaels continued to pimp his challenge to the Undertaker. Undertaker declined (ooh, burn!), so Shawn swore to win the Royal Rumble and face Taker at Wrestlemania. Triple-H disagreed; like everyone else, HE wants to win the Rumble. Hail, dissension in DX!
MVP won a Fatal-Four-Way to become the new #1 contender to Miz's US championship, after which they feuded for a couple of weeks, but eventually Miz won at the Rumble to keep the title.
Bret Hart made his return to Raw, made amends with Shawn Michaels, and got into a feud with Vince McMahon. Shawn and Cena both confronted Vince about it in subsequent weeks, until finally Vince agreed to bring Bret back on the show.
On ECW, Tommy Dreamer lost his final match to Zack Ryder, and retired with a nice going-away speech.
Matt Hardy, Evan Bourne, Shelton Benjamin, Ezekiel Jackson, and CM Punk won their ECW Homecoming matches to advance (along with Kane, Yoshi Tatsu, and Vance Archer). In the battle royal finale, Jackson beat all of them to become the #1 contender for My Man Christian's ECW championship. However, of course, My Man Christian took him down in an awesome match at the Royal Rumble to retain the title.
On Smackdown, CM Punk (I typo "Puck" so often that it might just be easier to start calling him that) continued his crusade to convert everyone to his "one nation, under Punk, with integrity and sobriety for all."
Batista and Rey Mysterio continued to feud, with Rey being a smart-ass plucky underdog and Batista getting progressively more enraged, until Rey won a cage match to become the #1 contender for the heavyweight championship. Then on the last show before the Rumble, Shawn Michaels showed up to challenge Rey; they beat the crap out of each other, Batista and Triple-H got involved, and Undertaker put in an appearance to hit a double-chokeslam on Rey & Shawn. At the Rumble, Undertaker defeated Mysterio in what turned out to be a pretty good match.
John Morrison and Dolph Ziggler continued their feud.
Michelle McCool and Layla continued to make fun of Mickie James. They pissed off Beth Phoenix by costing her a match against Mickie James, so that's now a three-way feud. Go Glamazon.
The Rumble: Beth Phoenix came into the match at #6, took down Khali in grand style, and then ate the Go-To-Sleep from CM Punk (jerk). Later in the match, Ted & Cody teamed up successfully for a while before Shawn Michaels eliminated them (and a bunch of other guys). Cena came in and steamrolled Shawn & Triple-H (Paul Marshall: "You Can’t See Me, BITCH!"), and then Shawn took out H with Sweet Chin Music. Ouch! Jericho came in at #28 to face Cena, Kofi, & Shawn; Kofi got eliminated, and then Edge made his surprise return as #29! Edge speared Jericho out of his boots and Jericho went out, the rest of them brawled, and then Batista was the final entrant. Batista took out Shawn (who got pissed and took out a referee), Cena took out Batista, and then Edge took out Cena for the EPIC WIN.
Yessss! EDGE IS BACK!!!
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Paul Marshall: Inside Pulse WWE Royal Rumble Report
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February and Elimination Chamber
My Man Christian showed up on Raw to challenge Sheamus. OMG. Christian lost, but He Had A Match On Raw. And he's still awesome.
The squabbling within Legacy continued. Orton was pissed at Cody Rhodes about the DQ at the Rumble, challenged him to a match, and lost when Sheamus interfered. And then Cody brought in a chair. Owies. Ted Dibiase got booked against John Cena and got his ass handed to him. The following week, we got Orton vs. Sheamus again, and Ted & Cody caused Randy to lose by DQ (AGAIN!) by attacking Sheamus. They begged forgiveness, but Randy hit Cody with the RKO, Sheamus clobbered Ted, Randy hit another RKO on Sheamus, and the crowd went wild.
Shawn Michaels didn't win the Rumble; neither did he win his Elimination Chamber qualifying match. Triple-H, however, did qualify for the Raw chamber match, and kind of rubbed it in. Then, guest host William Shatner (!) arranged a triple-threat match for the unified tag titles: DX vs. Miz & Big Show vs. CM Punk's Straight-Edge Society. Miz & Show walked away with the titles! And Shawn & Triple-H got even moodier. Shawn started ranting about how his career is over and he NEEDS to get into one of the Elimination Chamber matches.
Bret Hart returned to Raw a second time to challenge Vince McMahon; Vince almost got his ass kicked, but Batista showed up to be Vince's enforcer, so John Cena came to the rescue, and Batista beat the crap out of him. Cena didn't take this kindly. Bret came back on a later show to attack Vince and challenge him to a Wrestlemania match. Vince declined, so Bret decided to leave again, only to get hit by a car in the parking lot.
On ECW, Ezekiel Jackson challenged My Man Christian to a championship rematch; My Man accepted, stipulating that it would be Extreme Rules. Kickass. For the match, Christian showed up with a shopping cart full of weapons; unfortunately, it wasn't enough. William Regal caused a distraction for Jackson to get the win. Lame.
On Smackdown, Edge made his triumphant return with style. And launched what looks to be a fantastic feud with Chris Jericho.
Batista developed this weird, devil-may-care, "I know something you don't know" attitude. He deliberately lost an Elimination Chamber qualifying match to CM Punk by walking out of the ring and getting counted out. Then he pissed off John Cena by not rising to the challenge when Cena called him out about the Bret-Vince incident.
At the Elimination Chamber PPV, the Raw championship match was Sheamus, Cena, Triple-H, Dibiase, Orton, and Kofi Kingston. When Dibiase comes in, he teams up with Orton; but later Dibiase had an opportunity to eliminate Orton, and he capitalized. Cena is the eventual winner. Immediately after the match, Vince McMahon came out to announce Cena vs. Batista for the title; Batista gets the pin on Cena after a quick spear & powerbomb. And Batista won the championship -- THERE'S the payoff for all that odd behavior.
The Smackdown chamber match was Undertaker, Rey Mysterio, Chris Jericho, R-Truth (really?), John Morrison, and CM Punk. It was fast and furious for a while, but in the end, just when it looked like Undertaker was going to tombstone Jericho for the win, Shawn Michaels popped out of a trapdoor in the chamber floor and hit Taker with a superkick. Jericho looked stunned, but he jumped on the opportunity and pinned Taker to win the heavyweight championship.
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PK: Pulse Wrestling's Live Coverage: WWE Elimination Chamber
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March and Wrestlemania
On Raw, Jericho showed up to gloat with his new title, and Edge announced that his Wrestlemania challenge would be for Jericho's title.
John Cena called out Vince McMahon; Vince admitted that he'd offered Batista a title shot of his time & choosing in return for dealing with Bret Hart. Cena was pissed and demanded his title back, but Vince decreed that Batista wouldn't defend his title until Wrestlemania; and furthermore, Sheamus had a rematch clause too. In a match against Batista, Cena won by DQ to earn his Wrestlemania title shot, but then Batista turned it into a major beat-down. The following week, Cena called Batista a 6-foot-6, 300-lb pansy; Batista didn't rise to the bait, but calmly continued to mock Cena, and for once Cena didn't get the last word. Week in and week out, Batista continued to exude cool, arrogant, hateful, smoking hot confidence. He's such a fantastic heel. But at Wrestlemania, Cena got through their kickass match and made Batista tap out to the STFU.
Vince re-issued the Wrestlemania challenge to Bret Hart, who accepted. Vince also challenged Cena to a match, and then at the last minute revealed that it was a handicap gauntlet match; with help from Vladimir Kozlov, Drew McIntyre, Jack Swagger, Mark Henry (reluctantly), & Batista, Vince finally got the pin and the win. At Mania, Vince got his comeuppance in a lumberjack match filled out by the entire Hart clan. (Scott Keith: "Never let it be said that when it comes time for Vince to get his ass kicked, he doesn’t go out and give it his all.")
DX invoked their rematch clause for the tag titles against Big Show & Miz ("ShowMiz"), and they lost. Shawn looked bummed out and left, immediately after which Sheamus attacked Triple-H. This started a minor Sheamus-Triple-H feud, ending with a Triple-H win at Mania.
In a six-man tag match, Orton turned on Dibiase & Rhodes and then abandoned them to lose to the other team (Evan Bourne with a Shooting Star Press for the win!). The crowd loved him for it. Later, we got Orton vs. Dibiase, which Orton won by DQ when Rhodes interfered. The week after that, it was a handicap match, which Orton lost to Dibiase & Rhodes. The feud continued from there, setting up Dibiase & Rhodes as the scheming heels. The week before Wrestlemania, we got Orton & Triple-H losing a handicap match to Dibiase & Rhodes & Sheamus. Then, at Mania, the long-awaited Orton-Dibiase-Rhodes triple-threat match: early on, Dibiase & Rhodes teamed up, but then their egos came into play and they turned on each other. Orton eventually took Rhodes out with a punt kick to the head, and hit the RKO on Dibiase for the win. It seems that Orton has finally made his face turn, if the crowd's reactions are anything to go by.
Shawn Michaels explained his stealth attack on the Undertaker: every action demands a reaction. Undertaker finally accepted Shawn's challenge for a Wrestlemania re-match, but demanded that Shawn put his career on the line. Shawn agreed. DUDE. Later, Shawn took it a step further: the match would be no-count-out, no-DQ. Shawn seemed to be feeling brave, but Undertaker promised doom & gloom with his usual implacable scariness. Their match at Wrestlemania was EPIC, as promised; they traded killer moves and near-falls for a while. Finally it looked like Shawn was nearly finished; Undertaker signaled the tombstone, then paused, and Shawn crawled back to his feet and bitch-slapped Taker. So Taker hit a LEAPING tombstone and killed Shawn for the pin and the win. Then he helped Shawn up and they shook hands, actually hugged, and Shawn waved to the crowd and got a huge send-off cheer as he left the arena.
My Man Christian made his first appearance back on Raw as a regular roster member. MY LIFE IS NOW COMPLETE. (Now, if only we can get him and Edge back together...) Christian beat Carlito in a Money-In-The-Bank qualifying match. Hell yes. At Mania, Christian made it through the 10-man match to climb the ladder and get his hands on the briefcase, only for Jack Swagger to smack the case into Christian's face and grab it for himself. Grrrr.
Evan Bourne: still yummy as ever. And the AirBourne is still one of the most amazing-looking moves in the WWE. Granted, Sheamus clobbered him in the head with a microphone and beat him up at no provocation, but Sheamus does have those anger management issues that we've discussed before, and we know how well Bourne can take a hit. But Bourne got the pin against Legacy, he beat William Regal, he hit some sweet moves in MITB at Mania, he's awesome. YAY EVAN.
On ECW's replacement show, WWE NXT, we met the eight rookies and their superstar mentors. I don't really care; like the Superstars show, this doesn't seem consequential in comparison to Smackdown and Raw, so I won't be covering this in my updates. Besides, I can watch My Man Christian on Raw now. :)
On Smackdown, Michele McCool & Layla buddied up to Vickie Guerrero, who later denied Beth Phoenix a title shot when Beth asked about it. Post-ECW Tiffany came to compete as a Smackdown diva; in her first match, McCool, Layla, & Vickie ganged up on her until Beth came out to make the save and be intimidating. This became a face turn for Beth (FINALLY!), including a 5-on-1 handicap match against Vickie and the heel divas.
In a triple-threat match, John Morrison & R-Truth beat the Harts and Cryme Tyme to earn a Wrestlemania title shot against ShowMiz for the unified tag titles. ShowMiz, luckily (because they are pretty darn entertaining), retained at Mania.
I still love to boo CM Punk. He's really kind of an amazing heel. He starts a feud with Rey Mysterio by being a complete psycho a**hole. The angle: if Rey loses to Punk at Wrestlemania, he must join the creepy ranks of Punk's straight-edge minions. Despite interference from the minions, however, Rey beat Punk at Mania.
Edge and Jericho continued their weekly angry banter, culminating in their singles match at Wrestlemania (in which Matt Striker busted out a Sexton Hardcastle reference, which made me love him even more). Jericho won the match to retain his championship, after which Edge turned things around and speared Jericho through a wall.
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PK: Pulse Wrestling’s WWE WrestleMania 26 Report
Scott Keith: The SmarK Rant for WWE Wrestlemania 26
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So, to summarize: My Man Christian is kicking ass on Raw. Orton is a FACE, ZOMG. Batista's heel turn has been amazingly successful. Cena is the champion once again. Jericho has also reclaimed his former title. Edge is back and he's pissed. And Jack Swagger, of all people, is Mr. Money-In-The-Bank.
This week, of course, we're going to cover a lot more ground. Big things have happened in the wide world of WWE since my last update.
January and the Royal Rumble
On Raw, Sheamus got better at promos, so he's less boring. John Cena looked like his main challenger for the WWE championship, but then Randy Orton defeated Kofi Kingston and Cena (with some helpful interference from his Legacy cohorts) to become the #1 contender. Ted Dibiase & Cody Rhodes continued to look fantastic in the ring. Then they got some sibling rivalry going (who's better looking, etc.), which only worsened when they lost matches to Cena & Kofi and then to DX.
At the Rumble, Orton was clearly the face in his championship match against Sheamus; the crowd was behind him the whole time. But Cody came in at the last minute to interfere, causing Orton to lose by DQ. Orton got pissed and went after Cody; Ted came in and tried to break it up, and Orton turned on him too. Sheamus took the opportunity to hit a bicycle kick to Orton's head, after which Ted & Cody left and Orton got some major sympathy from the crowd.
Chris Jericho continued to fight his ban from Raw with picketing (he brought out the "Conspiracy Victim" sign again, LOL!), a petition, and other wacky fun. He also recruited guest host Mike Tyson to fight DX, only for Tyson to turn on him (like everybody else, what a bunch of poop-heads).
Shawn Michaels continued to pimp his challenge to the Undertaker. Undertaker declined (ooh, burn!), so Shawn swore to win the Royal Rumble and face Taker at Wrestlemania. Triple-H disagreed; like everyone else, HE wants to win the Rumble. Hail, dissension in DX!
MVP won a Fatal-Four-Way to become the new #1 contender to Miz's US championship, after which they feuded for a couple of weeks, but eventually Miz won at the Rumble to keep the title.
Bret Hart made his return to Raw, made amends with Shawn Michaels, and got into a feud with Vince McMahon. Shawn and Cena both confronted Vince about it in subsequent weeks, until finally Vince agreed to bring Bret back on the show.
On ECW, Tommy Dreamer lost his final match to Zack Ryder, and retired with a nice going-away speech.
Matt Hardy, Evan Bourne, Shelton Benjamin, Ezekiel Jackson, and CM Punk won their ECW Homecoming matches to advance (along with Kane, Yoshi Tatsu, and Vance Archer). In the battle royal finale, Jackson beat all of them to become the #1 contender for My Man Christian's ECW championship. However, of course, My Man Christian took him down in an awesome match at the Royal Rumble to retain the title.
On Smackdown, CM Punk (I typo "Puck" so often that it might just be easier to start calling him that) continued his crusade to convert everyone to his "one nation, under Punk, with integrity and sobriety for all."
Batista and Rey Mysterio continued to feud, with Rey being a smart-ass plucky underdog and Batista getting progressively more enraged, until Rey won a cage match to become the #1 contender for the heavyweight championship. Then on the last show before the Rumble, Shawn Michaels showed up to challenge Rey; they beat the crap out of each other, Batista and Triple-H got involved, and Undertaker put in an appearance to hit a double-chokeslam on Rey & Shawn. At the Rumble, Undertaker defeated Mysterio in what turned out to be a pretty good match.
John Morrison and Dolph Ziggler continued their feud.
Michelle McCool and Layla continued to make fun of Mickie James. They pissed off Beth Phoenix by costing her a match against Mickie James, so that's now a three-way feud. Go Glamazon.
The Rumble: Beth Phoenix came into the match at #6, took down Khali in grand style, and then ate the Go-To-Sleep from CM Punk (jerk). Later in the match, Ted & Cody teamed up successfully for a while before Shawn Michaels eliminated them (and a bunch of other guys). Cena came in and steamrolled Shawn & Triple-H (Paul Marshall: "You Can’t See Me, BITCH!"), and then Shawn took out H with Sweet Chin Music. Ouch! Jericho came in at #28 to face Cena, Kofi, & Shawn; Kofi got eliminated, and then Edge made his surprise return as #29! Edge speared Jericho out of his boots and Jericho went out, the rest of them brawled, and then Batista was the final entrant. Batista took out Shawn (who got pissed and took out a referee), Cena took out Batista, and then Edge took out Cena for the EPIC WIN.
Yessss! EDGE IS BACK!!!
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Paul Marshall: Inside Pulse WWE Royal Rumble Report
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February and Elimination Chamber
My Man Christian showed up on Raw to challenge Sheamus. OMG. Christian lost, but He Had A Match On Raw. And he's still awesome.
The squabbling within Legacy continued. Orton was pissed at Cody Rhodes about the DQ at the Rumble, challenged him to a match, and lost when Sheamus interfered. And then Cody brought in a chair. Owies. Ted Dibiase got booked against John Cena and got his ass handed to him. The following week, we got Orton vs. Sheamus again, and Ted & Cody caused Randy to lose by DQ (AGAIN!) by attacking Sheamus. They begged forgiveness, but Randy hit Cody with the RKO, Sheamus clobbered Ted, Randy hit another RKO on Sheamus, and the crowd went wild.
Shawn Michaels didn't win the Rumble; neither did he win his Elimination Chamber qualifying match. Triple-H, however, did qualify for the Raw chamber match, and kind of rubbed it in. Then, guest host William Shatner (!) arranged a triple-threat match for the unified tag titles: DX vs. Miz & Big Show vs. CM Punk's Straight-Edge Society. Miz & Show walked away with the titles! And Shawn & Triple-H got even moodier. Shawn started ranting about how his career is over and he NEEDS to get into one of the Elimination Chamber matches.
Bret Hart returned to Raw a second time to challenge Vince McMahon; Vince almost got his ass kicked, but Batista showed up to be Vince's enforcer, so John Cena came to the rescue, and Batista beat the crap out of him. Cena didn't take this kindly. Bret came back on a later show to attack Vince and challenge him to a Wrestlemania match. Vince declined, so Bret decided to leave again, only to get hit by a car in the parking lot.
On ECW, Ezekiel Jackson challenged My Man Christian to a championship rematch; My Man accepted, stipulating that it would be Extreme Rules. Kickass. For the match, Christian showed up with a shopping cart full of weapons; unfortunately, it wasn't enough. William Regal caused a distraction for Jackson to get the win. Lame.
On Smackdown, Edge made his triumphant return with style. And launched what looks to be a fantastic feud with Chris Jericho.
Batista developed this weird, devil-may-care, "I know something you don't know" attitude. He deliberately lost an Elimination Chamber qualifying match to CM Punk by walking out of the ring and getting counted out. Then he pissed off John Cena by not rising to the challenge when Cena called him out about the Bret-Vince incident.
At the Elimination Chamber PPV, the Raw championship match was Sheamus, Cena, Triple-H, Dibiase, Orton, and Kofi Kingston. When Dibiase comes in, he teams up with Orton; but later Dibiase had an opportunity to eliminate Orton, and he capitalized. Cena is the eventual winner. Immediately after the match, Vince McMahon came out to announce Cena vs. Batista for the title; Batista gets the pin on Cena after a quick spear & powerbomb. And Batista won the championship -- THERE'S the payoff for all that odd behavior.
The Smackdown chamber match was Undertaker, Rey Mysterio, Chris Jericho, R-Truth (really?), John Morrison, and CM Punk. It was fast and furious for a while, but in the end, just when it looked like Undertaker was going to tombstone Jericho for the win, Shawn Michaels popped out of a trapdoor in the chamber floor and hit Taker with a superkick. Jericho looked stunned, but he jumped on the opportunity and pinned Taker to win the heavyweight championship.
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PK: Pulse Wrestling's Live Coverage: WWE Elimination Chamber
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March and Wrestlemania
On Raw, Jericho showed up to gloat with his new title, and Edge announced that his Wrestlemania challenge would be for Jericho's title.
John Cena called out Vince McMahon; Vince admitted that he'd offered Batista a title shot of his time & choosing in return for dealing with Bret Hart. Cena was pissed and demanded his title back, but Vince decreed that Batista wouldn't defend his title until Wrestlemania; and furthermore, Sheamus had a rematch clause too. In a match against Batista, Cena won by DQ to earn his Wrestlemania title shot, but then Batista turned it into a major beat-down. The following week, Cena called Batista a 6-foot-6, 300-lb pansy; Batista didn't rise to the bait, but calmly continued to mock Cena, and for once Cena didn't get the last word. Week in and week out, Batista continued to exude cool, arrogant, hateful, smoking hot confidence. He's such a fantastic heel. But at Wrestlemania, Cena got through their kickass match and made Batista tap out to the STFU.
Vince re-issued the Wrestlemania challenge to Bret Hart, who accepted. Vince also challenged Cena to a match, and then at the last minute revealed that it was a handicap gauntlet match; with help from Vladimir Kozlov, Drew McIntyre, Jack Swagger, Mark Henry (reluctantly), & Batista, Vince finally got the pin and the win. At Mania, Vince got his comeuppance in a lumberjack match filled out by the entire Hart clan. (Scott Keith: "Never let it be said that when it comes time for Vince to get his ass kicked, he doesn’t go out and give it his all.")
DX invoked their rematch clause for the tag titles against Big Show & Miz ("ShowMiz"), and they lost. Shawn looked bummed out and left, immediately after which Sheamus attacked Triple-H. This started a minor Sheamus-Triple-H feud, ending with a Triple-H win at Mania.
In a six-man tag match, Orton turned on Dibiase & Rhodes and then abandoned them to lose to the other team (Evan Bourne with a Shooting Star Press for the win!). The crowd loved him for it. Later, we got Orton vs. Dibiase, which Orton won by DQ when Rhodes interfered. The week after that, it was a handicap match, which Orton lost to Dibiase & Rhodes. The feud continued from there, setting up Dibiase & Rhodes as the scheming heels. The week before Wrestlemania, we got Orton & Triple-H losing a handicap match to Dibiase & Rhodes & Sheamus. Then, at Mania, the long-awaited Orton-Dibiase-Rhodes triple-threat match: early on, Dibiase & Rhodes teamed up, but then their egos came into play and they turned on each other. Orton eventually took Rhodes out with a punt kick to the head, and hit the RKO on Dibiase for the win. It seems that Orton has finally made his face turn, if the crowd's reactions are anything to go by.
Shawn Michaels explained his stealth attack on the Undertaker: every action demands a reaction. Undertaker finally accepted Shawn's challenge for a Wrestlemania re-match, but demanded that Shawn put his career on the line. Shawn agreed. DUDE. Later, Shawn took it a step further: the match would be no-count-out, no-DQ. Shawn seemed to be feeling brave, but Undertaker promised doom & gloom with his usual implacable scariness. Their match at Wrestlemania was EPIC, as promised; they traded killer moves and near-falls for a while. Finally it looked like Shawn was nearly finished; Undertaker signaled the tombstone, then paused, and Shawn crawled back to his feet and bitch-slapped Taker. So Taker hit a LEAPING tombstone and killed Shawn for the pin and the win. Then he helped Shawn up and they shook hands, actually hugged, and Shawn waved to the crowd and got a huge send-off cheer as he left the arena.
My Man Christian made his first appearance back on Raw as a regular roster member. MY LIFE IS NOW COMPLETE. (Now, if only we can get him and Edge back together...) Christian beat Carlito in a Money-In-The-Bank qualifying match. Hell yes. At Mania, Christian made it through the 10-man match to climb the ladder and get his hands on the briefcase, only for Jack Swagger to smack the case into Christian's face and grab it for himself. Grrrr.
Evan Bourne: still yummy as ever. And the AirBourne is still one of the most amazing-looking moves in the WWE. Granted, Sheamus clobbered him in the head with a microphone and beat him up at no provocation, but Sheamus does have those anger management issues that we've discussed before, and we know how well Bourne can take a hit. But Bourne got the pin against Legacy, he beat William Regal, he hit some sweet moves in MITB at Mania, he's awesome. YAY EVAN.
On ECW's replacement show, WWE NXT, we met the eight rookies and their superstar mentors. I don't really care; like the Superstars show, this doesn't seem consequential in comparison to Smackdown and Raw, so I won't be covering this in my updates. Besides, I can watch My Man Christian on Raw now. :)
On Smackdown, Michele McCool & Layla buddied up to Vickie Guerrero, who later denied Beth Phoenix a title shot when Beth asked about it. Post-ECW Tiffany came to compete as a Smackdown diva; in her first match, McCool, Layla, & Vickie ganged up on her until Beth came out to make the save and be intimidating. This became a face turn for Beth (FINALLY!), including a 5-on-1 handicap match against Vickie and the heel divas.
In a triple-threat match, John Morrison & R-Truth beat the Harts and Cryme Tyme to earn a Wrestlemania title shot against ShowMiz for the unified tag titles. ShowMiz, luckily (because they are pretty darn entertaining), retained at Mania.
I still love to boo CM Punk. He's really kind of an amazing heel. He starts a feud with Rey Mysterio by being a complete psycho a**hole. The angle: if Rey loses to Punk at Wrestlemania, he must join the creepy ranks of Punk's straight-edge minions. Despite interference from the minions, however, Rey beat Punk at Mania.
Edge and Jericho continued their weekly angry banter, culminating in their singles match at Wrestlemania (in which Matt Striker busted out a Sexton Hardcastle reference, which made me love him even more). Jericho won the match to retain his championship, after which Edge turned things around and speared Jericho through a wall.
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PK: Pulse Wrestling’s WWE WrestleMania 26 Report
Scott Keith: The SmarK Rant for WWE Wrestlemania 26
--
So, to summarize: My Man Christian is kicking ass on Raw. Orton is a FACE, ZOMG. Batista's heel turn has been amazingly successful. Cena is the champion once again. Jericho has also reclaimed his former title. Edge is back and he's pissed. And Jack Swagger, of all people, is Mr. Money-In-The-Bank.