Weekly recap and Survivor Series PPV results
Raw (Nov. 16)
Tonight's host: Roddy Piper.
The Miz vs. MVP, United States Championship: Things look dicey for Miz for a few moments, but finally he hits the Skull-Crushing Finale for the win. Can we turn MVP heel again, please? At least he's more entertaining that way.
Chavo Guerrero vs. Santino Marella: They have an actual legitimate match... until Hornswaggle comes out. Chavo is distracted, Santino wins. Chavo is pissed.
DX comes out to pimp the upcoming triple-threat PPV match. Triple-H promises that DX will work as a team to defeat John Cena; they don't care who wins the title as long as it's one of them. Then they change the subject to Hornswoggle. Triple-H offers to make Hornswaggle an honorary member of DX if he comes back to the ring right now. Here comes Hornswoggle in his favorite DX fan gear, excitedly showing off his crotch-chopping skills. They let Hornswoggle be a happy fanboy for a minute before they turn on him, and Triple-H hits the Pedigree. Hornswaggle gets carted away on an official DX backboard. Dude, H, pick on someone your own size. That was way, way uncool.
Melina vs. Alicia Fox, Diva’s Championship: Melina is still irritating. Alicia is still apathy-inspiring. Melina wins.
Roddy Piper is in the ring to issue a challenge to Vince McMahon. Vince comes out to announce that, sadly, he's officially retired from in-ring action. Roddy calls him a coward. Vince kind of blows him off and leaves.
Sheamus is in the ring to issue an open challenge. No one responds, so attacks some poor random staff member. Jerry Lawler gets up to go after him and eats a big kick in the face. Michael Cole is horrified; luckily, Matt Striker was available on short notice to fill in for Lawler on commentary.
Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger: Swagger looks pissed about losing last week. Run away, Evan, run away! ... Nope, he's a brave toaster. He gets in a little bit of offense, but Swagger eventually finishes him off with a sick-looking powerbomb. Owies.
Roddy Piper is in the ring, waiting for Vince McMahon to show up. Instead, he gets Randy Orton. Roddy escapes an untimely demise when Kofi Kingston runs out to make the save. Granted, Kofi seems more interested in killing Orton than saving Roddy, so Orton makes the smart decision and tries to leave. Kofi chases him and they brawl, despite the refs' valiant efforts to break up the fight. Kofi finally seems satisfied after he hits the Boom-Boom Drop on Orton through a table.
John Cena is backstage to hype tonight's main event. He's confident about his chances, despite his perhaps unwise decision to choose Undertaker as his partner. He thought Taker would be a great partner, until he figured out that Taker's pretty difficult to talk to because he's, you know, dead. LOL, John, you always make me smile. :)
JeriShow vs. DX vs. John Cena & Undertaker, triple-threat tag team match: Round and round they go. At one point, Cena blind-tags himself in, which seems to displease Undertaker, if the look on his face is anything to go by. Eventually we get to the big finish: Triple-H hits a spinebuster on Cena and goes for the pedigree, but Big Show breaks it up; Shawn Michaels hits Sweet Chin Music on Show; Chris Jericho hits the Codebreaker on Michaels; Undertaker chokeslams Jericho; Triple-H clotheslines Taker out of the ring. Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment on Triple-H and gets the pin and the win. He celebrates, but then Undertaker gets the last word and hits the Tombstone on Cena. Undertaker is the last man standing.
End of show.
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Paul Marshall: Pulse Wrestling’s Real-Time WWE RAW Report - 11.16.09
Andy Wheeler: For Your Consideration...It’s RAW from MSG with Piper. What more do you need?
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ECW (Nov. 17)
We open with CM Punk, hailing his own return as a conquering hero, and informing the fans that he expects a standing ovation.
Later, CM Punk tracks down My Man Christian for a face-to-face confrontation. My Man makes fun of Punk and calls him a nerd. Punk attempts to carry on a conversation, or at least an argument, but Christian only has one word for him: "Nerd!" Punk demands respect for his myriad accomplishments; Christian counters with the fact that he's a champion and Punk's not.
Main event: CM Punk & William Regal vs. Christian & R-Truth: It's Punk and Christian to start, but Christian quickly takes down Punk and goes for Regal. Then he and R-Truth tag back and forth on Regal for a bit until Regal gets in a cheap shot on Truth while the ref is distracted. Then Regal and Punk take turns beating on Truth. Finally, though, Truth gets the hot tag to My Man Christian, who gets Punk under control. Then he goes off to take a swing at Regal, which allows Punk to recover and come back. Regal tries to make an assist; R-Truth keeps him out of the way long enough for Christian to set up the Killswitch, but then Regal gets in a hit, Punk nails the Go-To-Sleep on Christian, and that's the end of that.
Would it be too corny to say that this was the Revenge of the Nerd?
Also, a random mid-week interjection: according to Chris Jericho, "Christian knows the lyrics to Backstreet Boys songs." ...OMG. OMG, really? That's AWESOME! *happy fangirling*
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Aaron Glazer: The Wrestling Guy’s Live ECW report
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Smackdown (Nov. 20)
Smackdown was strangely non-compelling this week, aside from one or two exceptions.
Batista vs. Matt Hardy: Hardy almost capitalizes on Batista's over-confidence, but then Batista destroys him.
Fit vs. Drew McIntyre: They brawl (again) until Drew finally wins.
In the ring, CM Punk stages a "Straight Edge Intervention" for the benefit of all those watching, offering his version of a "why-drugs-and-alcohol-are-bad" seminar. R-Truth interrupts and takes out Punk.
John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler, Intercontinental championship, best-of-three-falls: Morrison gets the first pinfall with a roll-up. After some more back-and-forth, Ziggler hits the Zig-Zag for the next pinfall. Then things start looking bad for Morrison, who's still nursing the ribs, but he eventually hits Starship Pain for the final pin and the win.
Mickie James vs. Layla: Mickie gets a quick win. Then the pre-teen drama continues as Layla points out Michelle McCool on the jumbotron; McCool shows a video of Mickie's face on a picture of a pig, "Piggy James." Mickie starts to cry and runs away. Oh please, I put up with worse than that in the third grade.
Rey Mysterio vs. Tyson Kidd (of the Hart Dynasty): Natalya accompanies Tyson to the ring. (And BTW, Natalya's hair? is totally awesome.) Batista is at the announce table as a guest commentator. Not that he actually says anything. Finally Mysterio sets up a 619 attempt, and Tyson ducks out of the ring to avoid it, and Batista has had enough. Batista tosses Tyson out of the way and goes for Mysterio; the ref calls the match by DQ; Mysterio launches himself off the announce table at Batista, and Batista goes flying backwards over his chair. Batista is looking sort of apoplectic by this point, so Mysterio wisely takes off and heads backstage after a short moment of gloating from the top of the ramp.
Backstage, Chris Jericho insists that Big Show focus on their match tonight, but Show would rather fantasize about the upcoming championship match. He teases Jericho for being afraid of Undertaker.
Brothers of Destruction vs. JeriShow: Towards the end of the match, Jericho and Undertaker are battling it out. Jericho locks on the Walls hold, Taker reverses it into Hell's Gate, and Show breaks it up. Then Kane comes in and it's a brawl. Taker and Kane go for a chokeslam on Show outside the ring, but Jericho breaks it up, and Jericho gets tossed back into the ring for his trouble. Kane hits Jericho with a chokeslam; then Show takes out Kane, and meantime Taker goes for the Tombstone on Jericho. Show makes the save, hitting a chokeslam on Undertaker. Then Show goes to check up on Jericho, and Jericho nails him with the Codebreaker. To celebrate, Jericho grabs Taker's championship belt from ringside and runs away with it, only stopping to gloat once he's reached a safe distance atop the stage. Chris, that was really kind of rude.
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Brian Eison: Smackdown recap for 11/20/09
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Survivor Series PPV (Nov. 22)
Team Miz (The Miz, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, Drew McIntyre, & Sheamus) vs. Team Morrison (John Morrison, Evan Bourne, Finlay, Matt Hardy, & Shelton Benjamin): YAY EVAN!!! *ahem* I mean, gee, what a star-studded match-up! (Eh, who am I kidding? Go Evan!) Evan hits the Shooting Star Press on Ziggler to get the first elimination. Kickass! Then Drew takes out Evan with the double-arm DDT. Boo. Finlay takes out Sheamus, Morrison takes out Swagger, Miz takes out Shelton, Drew takes out Hardy, Sheamus takes out Morrison, and Team Miz are the winners.
Backstage, we get a promo with Team Kofi: Kofi, Mark Henry, MVP, R-Truth, and My Man Christian. Christian points out that he's not like the rest of them: he’s from ECW, for one thing, AND he’s Canadian. And Canadians, apparently, are great rappers. He offers some freestyle verse: "Four of us are black, and one of us is white. What's up?" *snort* LMAO! He totally went there. I love you, Christian. ROTFL *applauds*
Batista vs. Rey Mysterio: For the last week, I've been saying that Mysterio is toast. And I was totally right. Mysterio holds his own for a little while, but Batista has deep reserves of resentful anger to draw on. Finally, after Batista hits three Batista Bombs in a row, the ref ends the match. Batista's not done, though. He throws a folded-up chair into the ring, grabs Mysterio, and hits a spinebuster onto the chair. The crowd approves (and honestly, so do I, because I totally agree with Batista's accusations of back-stabbing). Aaron Glazer: "Batista seems a step above the other heels in the company through sheer dangerousness." (And it's pretty awesome. What can I say, I like that intensity.)
Backstage, we get a promo with Team RKO. All is not hunky-dory within the Legacy. (And it's about time, too, because Ted's movie trailers are scheduled to debut on the next Raw.)
Team RKO (Randy Orton, CM Punk, Ted Dibiase, Cody Rhodes, & William Regal) vs. Team Kofi (Kofi Kingston, Mark Henry, MVP, R-Truth, & Christian): Orton takes out Henry, Punk takes out Truth. My Man Christian launches off the turnbuckle to take out Dibiase. MVP takes out Regal, Cody takes out MVP, Christian hits Cody with the Killswitch for another elimination. Christian almost pins Orton after another Killswitch, but Punk breaks it up, and Orton hits Christian with the RKO (oh noes! but... so totally hhhottt). Then Kofi takes out Punk and Orton in quick succession for the win. Bah. (Kofi is kind of cool, but nowhere near cool enough to get away with this. Crush him, Randy!!!)
Undertaker vs. Chris Jericho vs. Big Show, World Heavyweight Championship: Jericho and Show use teamwork in the early going to keep Undertaker down. Eventually Jericho locks in the Walls of Jericho on Undertaker, but then Show breaks it up and hits Jericho with a chokeslam. Then Show and Taker go back and forth and they both end up on the mat, so Jericho crawls over to try for a cheap pin on Show, who kicks out; then Jericho gets a two-count on Undertaker before Taker throws him out of the ring. Taker and Show trade hits, and then Jericho's back with one of the title belts; he takes a run at Taker, who ducks, and Jericho clobbers Show instead. Taker dumps Show out of the ring and goes for the Last Ride on Jericho, but Jericho grabs the belt again and finally clobbers Taker in the head. He goes for the pin attempt, but Taker kicks out at the last split-second. Jericho steals Taker's signature throat-cut gesture and goes for a Tombstone! Undertaker reverses it, and Show's back in with a knockout punch to Undertaker! Show goes for the pinfall and gets a two-count before Jericho kicks him off, and Jericho tries for the pin, but Taker kicks out yet again. Jericho goes for the Codebreaker on Show and eats a knockout punch instead! Show turns back to Undertaker, goes for a move, and Taker counters it with Hell's Gate! Show holds out as long as he can, but then he finally taps. Undertaker retains the title. Woo-hoo! (I like Undertaker, I really do, but he's getting old and hurt and sometimes it shows. Jericho totally made this match, and that's why he gets one or two main events every week.)
Team Michelle (Michelle McCool, Layla, Beth Phoenix, Jillian Hall, & Alicia Fox) vs. Team Mickie (Mickie James, Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly, Melina, & Eve): Team Mickie wins. The only moment that I really cared about (aside from the moments when Beth was awesome, of course) was when Mickie pinned Beth and then Beth dropped her with a clothesline before she left the ring. HA! I love it when she's spiteful. :)
John Cena vs. Triple-H vs. Shawn Michaels, WWE Championship: Triple-H and Michaels come out together with the DX intro, tossing glowsticks into the crowd as they go. (Somebody throws a glowstick back at them, LOL.) Cena faces a united front. Then the bell rings, and Michaels nails Triple-H with Sweet Chin Music! H topples out of the ring. Cena looks stunned. Then Michaels comes after Cena and they go back and forth. Cena looks for the Attitude Adjustment, but Triple-H breaks it up; Michaels hits a clothesline on Cena, and then H hits a spinebuster on Michaels through the announce table! Payback's a bitch, baby! H drags Cena back into the ring and goes to work on him. Then Cena makes his comeback (Chris Lansdell: "You are unable to visually perceive his person!" which was just, LOL, I almost spit out my drink all over my keyboard when I read that); Cena sets up the Attitude Adjustment on Triple-H, Michaels breaks it up and throws Cena into the corner post, and DX faces off. They go back and forth; then Michaels goes to the top rope, Cena knocks him off and then it's a merry-go-round: Cena misses a drop on Triple-H, Michaels hits an elbow-drop on Cena, H throws Michaels outside, Cena locks in the STF on H, and Michaels sneaks up behind Cena to lock in a crossface! Cena breaks free, only to lock in the STF on Michaels, who almost taps but then grabs the ropes, and fights his way up and nails Cena with Sweet Chin Music! Another Superkick to Triple-H! H falls on top of Cena, Michaels falls out of the ring, the ref finally sees H's sort-of pin and starts counting, and Cena kicks out. Cena and H stagger to their feet, Cena manages to hit the Attitude Adjustment on H, and Cena and Michaels both try for the pin on H, who kicks out. Then they're all back on their feet; Michaels goes for Sweet Chin Music on Cena, who blocks, so next Michaels goes for a piledriver on H, who also blocks, and Michaels gets knocked right back at Cena. Michaels gets away, H goes for a Pedigree, Michaels hits H with Sweet Chin Music AGAIN! Cena hits Michaels with the Attitude Adjustment, and goes back to Triple-H for the pin, and he gets the three-count for the win! Cena retains. DX imploded, big time.
End of show. Well, we have a lot to look forward to, most notably Ted Dibiase's pending face turn and the looming twin trainwrecks of JeriShow and DX.
Can't wait for Monday night: Jesse Ventura hosts Raw! And the sure-to-be-juicy backlash from Survivor Series.
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Chris Lansdell: 411's WWE Survivor Series Report 11.22.09
Pulse Wrestling’s WWE Survivor Series 2009 Report
Aaron Glazer: The Wrestling Guy’s Survivor Series Report Card
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Tonight's host: Roddy Piper.
The Miz vs. MVP, United States Championship: Things look dicey for Miz for a few moments, but finally he hits the Skull-Crushing Finale for the win. Can we turn MVP heel again, please? At least he's more entertaining that way.
Chavo Guerrero vs. Santino Marella: They have an actual legitimate match... until Hornswaggle comes out. Chavo is distracted, Santino wins. Chavo is pissed.
DX comes out to pimp the upcoming triple-threat PPV match. Triple-H promises that DX will work as a team to defeat John Cena; they don't care who wins the title as long as it's one of them. Then they change the subject to Hornswoggle. Triple-H offers to make Hornswaggle an honorary member of DX if he comes back to the ring right now. Here comes Hornswoggle in his favorite DX fan gear, excitedly showing off his crotch-chopping skills. They let Hornswoggle be a happy fanboy for a minute before they turn on him, and Triple-H hits the Pedigree. Hornswaggle gets carted away on an official DX backboard. Dude, H, pick on someone your own size. That was way, way uncool.
Melina vs. Alicia Fox, Diva’s Championship: Melina is still irritating. Alicia is still apathy-inspiring. Melina wins.
Roddy Piper is in the ring to issue a challenge to Vince McMahon. Vince comes out to announce that, sadly, he's officially retired from in-ring action. Roddy calls him a coward. Vince kind of blows him off and leaves.
Sheamus is in the ring to issue an open challenge. No one responds, so attacks some poor random staff member. Jerry Lawler gets up to go after him and eats a big kick in the face. Michael Cole is horrified; luckily, Matt Striker was available on short notice to fill in for Lawler on commentary.
Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger: Swagger looks pissed about losing last week. Run away, Evan, run away! ... Nope, he's a brave toaster. He gets in a little bit of offense, but Swagger eventually finishes him off with a sick-looking powerbomb. Owies.
Roddy Piper is in the ring, waiting for Vince McMahon to show up. Instead, he gets Randy Orton. Roddy escapes an untimely demise when Kofi Kingston runs out to make the save. Granted, Kofi seems more interested in killing Orton than saving Roddy, so Orton makes the smart decision and tries to leave. Kofi chases him and they brawl, despite the refs' valiant efforts to break up the fight. Kofi finally seems satisfied after he hits the Boom-Boom Drop on Orton through a table.
John Cena is backstage to hype tonight's main event. He's confident about his chances, despite his perhaps unwise decision to choose Undertaker as his partner. He thought Taker would be a great partner, until he figured out that Taker's pretty difficult to talk to because he's, you know, dead. LOL, John, you always make me smile. :)
JeriShow vs. DX vs. John Cena & Undertaker, triple-threat tag team match: Round and round they go. At one point, Cena blind-tags himself in, which seems to displease Undertaker, if the look on his face is anything to go by. Eventually we get to the big finish: Triple-H hits a spinebuster on Cena and goes for the pedigree, but Big Show breaks it up; Shawn Michaels hits Sweet Chin Music on Show; Chris Jericho hits the Codebreaker on Michaels; Undertaker chokeslams Jericho; Triple-H clotheslines Taker out of the ring. Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment on Triple-H and gets the pin and the win. He celebrates, but then Undertaker gets the last word and hits the Tombstone on Cena. Undertaker is the last man standing.
End of show.
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Paul Marshall: Pulse Wrestling’s Real-Time WWE RAW Report - 11.16.09
Andy Wheeler: For Your Consideration...It’s RAW from MSG with Piper. What more do you need?
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ECW (Nov. 17)
We open with CM Punk, hailing his own return as a conquering hero, and informing the fans that he expects a standing ovation.
Later, CM Punk tracks down My Man Christian for a face-to-face confrontation. My Man makes fun of Punk and calls him a nerd. Punk attempts to carry on a conversation, or at least an argument, but Christian only has one word for him: "Nerd!" Punk demands respect for his myriad accomplishments; Christian counters with the fact that he's a champion and Punk's not.
Main event: CM Punk & William Regal vs. Christian & R-Truth: It's Punk and Christian to start, but Christian quickly takes down Punk and goes for Regal. Then he and R-Truth tag back and forth on Regal for a bit until Regal gets in a cheap shot on Truth while the ref is distracted. Then Regal and Punk take turns beating on Truth. Finally, though, Truth gets the hot tag to My Man Christian, who gets Punk under control. Then he goes off to take a swing at Regal, which allows Punk to recover and come back. Regal tries to make an assist; R-Truth keeps him out of the way long enough for Christian to set up the Killswitch, but then Regal gets in a hit, Punk nails the Go-To-Sleep on Christian, and that's the end of that.
Would it be too corny to say that this was the Revenge of the Nerd?
Also, a random mid-week interjection: according to Chris Jericho, "Christian knows the lyrics to Backstreet Boys songs." ...OMG. OMG, really? That's AWESOME! *happy fangirling*
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Aaron Glazer: The Wrestling Guy’s Live ECW report
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Smackdown (Nov. 20)
Smackdown was strangely non-compelling this week, aside from one or two exceptions.
Batista vs. Matt Hardy: Hardy almost capitalizes on Batista's over-confidence, but then Batista destroys him.
Fit vs. Drew McIntyre: They brawl (again) until Drew finally wins.
In the ring, CM Punk stages a "Straight Edge Intervention" for the benefit of all those watching, offering his version of a "why-drugs-and-alcohol-are-bad" seminar. R-Truth interrupts and takes out Punk.
John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler, Intercontinental championship, best-of-three-falls: Morrison gets the first pinfall with a roll-up. After some more back-and-forth, Ziggler hits the Zig-Zag for the next pinfall. Then things start looking bad for Morrison, who's still nursing the ribs, but he eventually hits Starship Pain for the final pin and the win.
Mickie James vs. Layla: Mickie gets a quick win. Then the pre-teen drama continues as Layla points out Michelle McCool on the jumbotron; McCool shows a video of Mickie's face on a picture of a pig, "Piggy James." Mickie starts to cry and runs away. Oh please, I put up with worse than that in the third grade.
Rey Mysterio vs. Tyson Kidd (of the Hart Dynasty): Natalya accompanies Tyson to the ring. (And BTW, Natalya's hair? is totally awesome.) Batista is at the announce table as a guest commentator. Not that he actually says anything. Finally Mysterio sets up a 619 attempt, and Tyson ducks out of the ring to avoid it, and Batista has had enough. Batista tosses Tyson out of the way and goes for Mysterio; the ref calls the match by DQ; Mysterio launches himself off the announce table at Batista, and Batista goes flying backwards over his chair. Batista is looking sort of apoplectic by this point, so Mysterio wisely takes off and heads backstage after a short moment of gloating from the top of the ramp.
Backstage, Chris Jericho insists that Big Show focus on their match tonight, but Show would rather fantasize about the upcoming championship match. He teases Jericho for being afraid of Undertaker.
Brothers of Destruction vs. JeriShow: Towards the end of the match, Jericho and Undertaker are battling it out. Jericho locks on the Walls hold, Taker reverses it into Hell's Gate, and Show breaks it up. Then Kane comes in and it's a brawl. Taker and Kane go for a chokeslam on Show outside the ring, but Jericho breaks it up, and Jericho gets tossed back into the ring for his trouble. Kane hits Jericho with a chokeslam; then Show takes out Kane, and meantime Taker goes for the Tombstone on Jericho. Show makes the save, hitting a chokeslam on Undertaker. Then Show goes to check up on Jericho, and Jericho nails him with the Codebreaker. To celebrate, Jericho grabs Taker's championship belt from ringside and runs away with it, only stopping to gloat once he's reached a safe distance atop the stage. Chris, that was really kind of rude.
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Brian Eison: Smackdown recap for 11/20/09
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Survivor Series PPV (Nov. 22)
Team Miz (The Miz, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, Drew McIntyre, & Sheamus) vs. Team Morrison (John Morrison, Evan Bourne, Finlay, Matt Hardy, & Shelton Benjamin): YAY EVAN!!! *ahem* I mean, gee, what a star-studded match-up! (Eh, who am I kidding? Go Evan!) Evan hits the Shooting Star Press on Ziggler to get the first elimination. Kickass! Then Drew takes out Evan with the double-arm DDT. Boo. Finlay takes out Sheamus, Morrison takes out Swagger, Miz takes out Shelton, Drew takes out Hardy, Sheamus takes out Morrison, and Team Miz are the winners.
Backstage, we get a promo with Team Kofi: Kofi, Mark Henry, MVP, R-Truth, and My Man Christian. Christian points out that he's not like the rest of them: he’s from ECW, for one thing, AND he’s Canadian. And Canadians, apparently, are great rappers. He offers some freestyle verse: "Four of us are black, and one of us is white. What's up?" *snort* LMAO! He totally went there. I love you, Christian. ROTFL *applauds*
Batista vs. Rey Mysterio: For the last week, I've been saying that Mysterio is toast. And I was totally right. Mysterio holds his own for a little while, but Batista has deep reserves of resentful anger to draw on. Finally, after Batista hits three Batista Bombs in a row, the ref ends the match. Batista's not done, though. He throws a folded-up chair into the ring, grabs Mysterio, and hits a spinebuster onto the chair. The crowd approves (and honestly, so do I, because I totally agree with Batista's accusations of back-stabbing). Aaron Glazer: "Batista seems a step above the other heels in the company through sheer dangerousness." (And it's pretty awesome. What can I say, I like that intensity.)
Backstage, we get a promo with Team RKO. All is not hunky-dory within the Legacy. (And it's about time, too, because Ted's movie trailers are scheduled to debut on the next Raw.)
Team RKO (Randy Orton, CM Punk, Ted Dibiase, Cody Rhodes, & William Regal) vs. Team Kofi (Kofi Kingston, Mark Henry, MVP, R-Truth, & Christian): Orton takes out Henry, Punk takes out Truth. My Man Christian launches off the turnbuckle to take out Dibiase. MVP takes out Regal, Cody takes out MVP, Christian hits Cody with the Killswitch for another elimination. Christian almost pins Orton after another Killswitch, but Punk breaks it up, and Orton hits Christian with the RKO (oh noes! but... so totally hhhottt). Then Kofi takes out Punk and Orton in quick succession for the win. Bah. (Kofi is kind of cool, but nowhere near cool enough to get away with this. Crush him, Randy!!!)
Undertaker vs. Chris Jericho vs. Big Show, World Heavyweight Championship: Jericho and Show use teamwork in the early going to keep Undertaker down. Eventually Jericho locks in the Walls of Jericho on Undertaker, but then Show breaks it up and hits Jericho with a chokeslam. Then Show and Taker go back and forth and they both end up on the mat, so Jericho crawls over to try for a cheap pin on Show, who kicks out; then Jericho gets a two-count on Undertaker before Taker throws him out of the ring. Taker and Show trade hits, and then Jericho's back with one of the title belts; he takes a run at Taker, who ducks, and Jericho clobbers Show instead. Taker dumps Show out of the ring and goes for the Last Ride on Jericho, but Jericho grabs the belt again and finally clobbers Taker in the head. He goes for the pin attempt, but Taker kicks out at the last split-second. Jericho steals Taker's signature throat-cut gesture and goes for a Tombstone! Undertaker reverses it, and Show's back in with a knockout punch to Undertaker! Show goes for the pinfall and gets a two-count before Jericho kicks him off, and Jericho tries for the pin, but Taker kicks out yet again. Jericho goes for the Codebreaker on Show and eats a knockout punch instead! Show turns back to Undertaker, goes for a move, and Taker counters it with Hell's Gate! Show holds out as long as he can, but then he finally taps. Undertaker retains the title. Woo-hoo! (I like Undertaker, I really do, but he's getting old and hurt and sometimes it shows. Jericho totally made this match, and that's why he gets one or two main events every week.)
Team Michelle (Michelle McCool, Layla, Beth Phoenix, Jillian Hall, & Alicia Fox) vs. Team Mickie (Mickie James, Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly, Melina, & Eve): Team Mickie wins. The only moment that I really cared about (aside from the moments when Beth was awesome, of course) was when Mickie pinned Beth and then Beth dropped her with a clothesline before she left the ring. HA! I love it when she's spiteful. :)
John Cena vs. Triple-H vs. Shawn Michaels, WWE Championship: Triple-H and Michaels come out together with the DX intro, tossing glowsticks into the crowd as they go. (Somebody throws a glowstick back at them, LOL.) Cena faces a united front. Then the bell rings, and Michaels nails Triple-H with Sweet Chin Music! H topples out of the ring. Cena looks stunned. Then Michaels comes after Cena and they go back and forth. Cena looks for the Attitude Adjustment, but Triple-H breaks it up; Michaels hits a clothesline on Cena, and then H hits a spinebuster on Michaels through the announce table! Payback's a bitch, baby! H drags Cena back into the ring and goes to work on him. Then Cena makes his comeback (Chris Lansdell: "You are unable to visually perceive his person!" which was just, LOL, I almost spit out my drink all over my keyboard when I read that); Cena sets up the Attitude Adjustment on Triple-H, Michaels breaks it up and throws Cena into the corner post, and DX faces off. They go back and forth; then Michaels goes to the top rope, Cena knocks him off and then it's a merry-go-round: Cena misses a drop on Triple-H, Michaels hits an elbow-drop on Cena, H throws Michaels outside, Cena locks in the STF on H, and Michaels sneaks up behind Cena to lock in a crossface! Cena breaks free, only to lock in the STF on Michaels, who almost taps but then grabs the ropes, and fights his way up and nails Cena with Sweet Chin Music! Another Superkick to Triple-H! H falls on top of Cena, Michaels falls out of the ring, the ref finally sees H's sort-of pin and starts counting, and Cena kicks out. Cena and H stagger to their feet, Cena manages to hit the Attitude Adjustment on H, and Cena and Michaels both try for the pin on H, who kicks out. Then they're all back on their feet; Michaels goes for Sweet Chin Music on Cena, who blocks, so next Michaels goes for a piledriver on H, who also blocks, and Michaels gets knocked right back at Cena. Michaels gets away, H goes for a Pedigree, Michaels hits H with Sweet Chin Music AGAIN! Cena hits Michaels with the Attitude Adjustment, and goes back to Triple-H for the pin, and he gets the three-count for the win! Cena retains. DX imploded, big time.
End of show. Well, we have a lot to look forward to, most notably Ted Dibiase's pending face turn and the looming twin trainwrecks of JeriShow and DX.
Can't wait for Monday night: Jesse Ventura hosts Raw! And the sure-to-be-juicy backlash from Survivor Series.
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Chris Lansdell: 411's WWE Survivor Series Report 11.22.09
Pulse Wrestling’s WWE Survivor Series 2009 Report
Aaron Glazer: The Wrestling Guy’s Survivor Series Report Card
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