Bittersweet Lullaby (Completed Fic)
Beta: none
Words: 6,094 (pt. 1) 4,389 (pt. 2)
Pairing: Joe/Nick
Rating: M/NC-17
Warnings: Mpreg, fluff, smut, incest
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Part One
Over the next few days after the phenomenon of Nick's pregnancy had been discovered, Joe began to gradually get annoying. It wasn't done on purpose, Nick knew this, but it was the little things. Their new album was due out in a little over a week and they were already nervous about that, but Joe wouldn't let Nick do anything for himself. Finally, he pulled Joe aside and said, "I'm probably not due for at least another five or six months? I mean, and before you say anything, I know this was pretty much an unprecedented event, but Joe...the other band members are starting to notice. I can get my own soda cans, okay? When it comes to a point where I can't anymore, I'll ask you to get me something."
"Sorry," Joe said, hurt in his voice and self-anger evident as well. Nick kissed Joe's forehead quickly because while the others might not have been in earshot, they were still in the same room. But it worked as Joe gave him a brave smile and added, "I'll try and be less helpful." That was the night they went on their first date.
It was the classic dinner and a movie, something they'd done together countless times, so why did it feel so different now? Why did he feel so nervous? It was just Joe - just the other father of his children. Oh, right, maybe that was why. There was also the fact that he was undeniably in love with his older brother, and he wasn't thinking about Kevin. No, it was Joe whose face was in the forefront of his mind. It was Joe whose voice was the one inside his head when he thought about doing something and whether or not it was a good idea. Then again, Joe wasn't always the best to ask for advice in taht respect, but it reminded him he was carrying Joe's children and needed to always be more careful because of it.
Joe had driven and picked the restaurant, a Steak House that was really good about giving them privacy, and after they placed their order with the waiter Nick looked at Joe sitting across the booth from him and sighed. "I'm going to start showing soon," he said quietly. Joe nodded, face losing a bit of its color as they were obviously going into serious conversation, but Nick began speaking again. "I have a few ideas on how we might be able to pull this off without the press finding out."
Nick smiled as Joe visibly relaxed. Nick had a plan, or several, so everything was a lot better than it was a few moments ago. Nick always had a plan, but when he didn't, well, that was the time to worry. He leaned forward, a conspiratorial glint in his eye which Joe matched eagerly and it was just like when they were little and needed to strategize together in any game they played. The main difference was that the results this time were a lot more important. "The biggest obstacle is the Summer Tour," Nick said seriously. "We could cancel it, claim we each need a bit more time to do our own thing as individuals...You could pursue acting or a solo career." Joe flinched at the thought of performing without Nick, and Nick smiled indulgently, "I'd be with you on that stage every night, so to speak, since I have plenty of songs that aren't in the least appropriate for the Jonas Brothers. You don't even need Disney for a tour, I'm sure we could find a loophole and fit in some music not so Disney-friendly."
This, Nick knew, would strike Joe's interest more than anything. He loved breaking rules, loved finding ways to break the system, and Nick was willing to help him do it. It would cause a huge scandal and definitely keep eyes off of 'good Nick sitting home writing music and filling out college applications.' He sat back, suddenly winded as he thought about college and how it would be impossible now and Joe asked, "What's wrong?" He shook his head as his features became unreadable once more and cleared his throat. "Nick?"
"I'm fine," he said as he took a steady breath. "Like I was saying, I've written a lot of songs I've always wanted to hear you sing. We could have a fight, you and me, a really bad one. Yeah, that would be excuse enough for the band to need to take a break before we publicly reconcile. This would be after the baby is born, obviously. Or maybe the fight could happen in the middle of the tour and we'd just postpone the rest of the dates...that would be more dramatic." He nodded again, thinking it over in his head, "Then we'd make a public announcement that due to health issues and personal issues, the Jonas Brothers are going to be taking a break. The Jonas Brothers are not breaking up, just on a short break until everything is worked out and then the tour will resume and concerts will be rescheduled. In the meantime, well, you could do whatever you want, I guess. But the solo tour would really help me out..."
"What about afterward, what about after they're born?" Joe asked so quietly Nick had to lean close to hear.
"I...don't like any of the logical answers to that question, but the best is to claim they were left on our doorstep or something. Maybe one of us to fake that we broke the promise rings...and that an angry mother left the kids to our care instead."
"Me," Joe said automatically. "If it should be either of us, I'm the better scapegoat. You - you don't need this tarnishing your record. You have more at stake and more people would expect it of me." He looked up; Joe's mouth was twisted in a sad smile that made Nick's chest ache sadly. But it was true, and Nick didn't have the guts to fight it. After all, he still wanted to be President someday.
"Yeah, Joe...I mean...thanks." The food came, and the conversation ended with it as they both digested everything they'd planned. It was heavy, too heavy, and they shouldn't have to deal with problems like these when they already had so many other potential problems to begin with. Pregnancy should never have been one of them. They already had enough on their plates with how their family would react and the fact that they were committing a crime with the full knowledge they were breaking the law and the potential disaster having an incestuous relationship could lead to.
He managed to forget when Joe cast him a slow, easy smile and he felt socked toes stroke gently down the back of his calf and then back up until it reached the hollow part behind his knee. "Not here, baby," he said, but Joe's smile only broadened as he switched to Nick's side of the booth and slid an arm behind Nick's neck. Despite his previous words, Nick slumped a bit, sinking into the warm embrace as his head fell sideways onto Joe's shoulder. He felt warm lips press a kiss to the crown of his head and Nick smiled, a content sigh of relief escaping his lungs as his hand found Joe's atop where their thighs were pressed together.
~*~*~
A few people recognized them and took their picture as they walked to and from their car and the restaurant, and then the movie theater. But they were left alone during the movie itself. They sat pressed close, the arm rest between them raised up as their fingers entwined occasionally. They shared the combo of popcorn and soda, taking advantage of putting their hands in the bucket at the same time frequently, and after each time that happened they'd just look at each other and smile before their eyes found the screen again. Every sip they took was like a secret kiss as they passed the cup with its single plastic straw back and forth.
When they got home once more, Joe walked Nick to his bed and leaned in, kissing him gently. The feel of those lips on his, finally, it made him feel warm inside and he yearned for more. But too soon, Joe pulled away and whispered, "Everything is going to work out...you'll see." He felt Joe moving away even more and wrapped his arms around the man's neck and pulled him in for another, more desperate kiss. And oh, did Joe kiss back - he was kissing Nick back as if it were the last stretch of a really long race and Nick were the glorious and coveted First Place medal. As their hips bumped together, it was obvious Joe wouldn't have said no to wearing that medal as soon as possible, and Nick moaned into Joe's mouth soft and needy.
So much for taking things slow he thought as he reached between them for Joe’s belt and undid the clasp, pulling on it so it would slide through the loops quickly. “Mmm, Baby Boy,” Joe mumbled, breathing heavily as he pulled out of the embrace, shaking his head. “Shouldn’t…slow…” he added then gasped when Nick slipped his hand between Joe’s legs and slid up his brother’s crotch, fingers finding the metal button and slipping it through the hole with little difficulty.
“S’not like we’d be doing anything we haven’t already done. Besides, it’d only make me sexually frustrated in a time where my hormones are already going haywire…” Joe nodded, letting Nick manipulate the situation. They both knew they shouldn’t do it; they were both old enough not to make this kind of mistake if they really didn’t want to. The trouble was, they both really, really wanted to.
~*~*~
They went on tour without a hitch towards the end of April, and Nick felt badly that they couldn’t even tell Kevin what was wrong. Not yet, at least, because they needed him to really think that Joe and Nick were fighting because that way Kevin would be the wise older brother and be the one to suggest putting the tour on hold while they figured out Nick’s health issues and Joe and Nick talked over their personal issues lately. They were extra careful to bicker in front of others, especially Kevin, and each night when they retired to the same room was the only time they could truly relax.
It was starting to take a toll, the pretend fighting and the pregnancy, especially as Nick began to show and the t-shirts he wore got a little bit baggier. Their father was mad at him for that, messing up the band’s image. He was a sex symbol and fat just didn’t work for the image they wanted to be presenting to the world. Their mom, though, she was harder to fool. She kept giving him funny looks especially one time when he asked for something he usually didn’t eat, forgetting that pregnancy tended to cause random food cravings, and then he told her never-mind and headed out of the kitchen as fast as he could. She, though, was concerned about him and genuinely thought something might be wrong. Frankie didn’t know anything, just that Nick had been getting sick lately but even that had been getting better. Everything was slowly getting better up until they were mid performance of the song ‘Burnin’ Up’ and Nick gasped, “Joe” as thousands of cameras flashed in their direction amidst the bright stage lights, fans blinking confused as he’d just stopped singing completely and let go of his guitar. Joe was already moving towards him and his vision went in and out like ink splotches moving around on his eyeballs sporadically, and then he blacked out.
When he woke up Joe was kneeling over him, stroking his face, his hair, bent close and whispering sweet nothings in his ear. Well, it looked like they could blame any group hiatus solely on his health issues after all; this would cause quite a stir. He heard loud footsteps as and winced, feeling Joe’s lips brush against his cheek and he sat up slowly, noticing security was forming a wall between he and the crowd so they couldn’t take any more pictures. His guitar was lying next to him on the floor and he realized Joe must have taken it off of him and he leaned against his brother gratefully, feeling strong arms pull him into a tight hug.
“Come on,” Joe said and helped Nick to stand. His head hurt, he must have hit it when he fell, and Joe kept his arm around Nick’s shoulders protectively as Kevin picked up the guitar. “I’ve got you…” Joe added, and Nick believed him.
“Want to finish the show” he said, turning in Joe’s arms to face his brother – his lover. An almost pained expression formed on those features, a mix of anger, pity and love as Joe just shook his head and brought first their foreheads together and then their noses.
“Not a good idea, Nicky, you fainted…”
“I know that –“
“No one would let you…”
“I know that –“
“Baby, I don’t want you to…”
“Oh…” That was an entirely different story.
“Please…”
“Yeah, okay, Joe…” The fans screamed their names and it made Nick wonder if the mic by his lips was actually off like protocol dictated and he pushed away from Joe hastily, stumbling a bit before Joe caught his elbow again. Someone shouted their undying love for him; others were shouting their support and more still seemed to just cheer whenever he and Joe got near each other.
“Easy…” Joe cautioned and he nodded, giving in and leaning on him for support as they walked off the stage. There were fewer cameras back there, and everyone who had one knew not to use it at the moment as he was guided to the dressing room. His mom was suddenly there, feeling his forehead, pulling him into a hug and just fussing over him while asking a million questions. She asked about his levels, asked when the last time he’d eaten was. It would be so easy to blame this on his Diabetes but he shook his head and Joe spoke up, “Mom, Nick and I need to talk to you alone…” They couldn’t hide this from her anymore; she would figure it out soon enough, anyway.
“Of course,” Denise said, nodding and looking for all the world as if, in that moment, she would have done anything to make them smile. She made everyone else leave the dressing room, shooing them out rather aggressively because nothing gets between her and her children – and they needed her right now. His hand tightened on Joe’s and they moved closer to each other instinctively and he folded into that strong embrace once more. “Honey, what’s wrong?” she asked Joe because he’d been the one to ask to speak to her and she pulled both of them to the couch so they could all sit and talk about it.
“I’m not getting fat,” Nick said quietly, eyes on the floor as he stepped away from Joe so the only touch they shared was the brushing of fingertips as they sat side by side. “I know that’s what you and dad think, and what it looks like, but I’m not fat.” Joe slipped his hand over the baby bump, rubbing soothing circles with his fingers and Nick finally looked up. Their mom’s eyes flickered to Joe’s hand, to Nick’s face, to the way they were sitting and then started all over again as if her eyes were pacing along a set path.“I…I’m pregnant,” he finally said.
“I, baby is this some kind of joke?” Their eyes met and he kept her gaze, head held high with a proud defiance as he thought I dare you to ask me that again, and she gasped. “I need to sit down.”
“You are sitting down,” Joe said, reaching over Nick who was seated in the middle and taking her hand.
“Oh…right.” Nick couldn’t help but notice she looked lost, which was strange to him. She was always a pillar of strength in their family and to see the way she looked as she digested the information, how close to desperate she seemed to find some kind of alternative explanation for his behavior lately and the weight gain, it caused his breath to catch because her decision in that moment meant so much to him; to both he and Joe. In a way, he knew she was thinking she would have a grandchild, even if she’d originally thought it wouldn’t happen for a long while yet. He was her baby, her little Nicholas, and he was only seventeen. Nick also knew she’d always wanted a daughter which is how they’d wound up with four sons, eventually she’d stopped trying. Four was a lot to deal with, well, so was three, but she’d been hopeful Frankie would be a girl – it just hadn’t been the case. “What else?” she asked; she’d always been perceptive, especially in regards to her children. “You should probably get…married before the baby is born.”
Marriage, he hadn’t eve considered it, it was just an impossibility so he’d never even thought of it. When she brought it up it was like a knife sliding into his heart and wiggling around, and he shivered.
“Can’t…I, we, no…can’t.” Oh, how he wished he could have been more naturally eloquent with words, but he didn’t need to be, not really. Her eyes flickered to Joe and she pulled her hand away from his, understanding what she’d been trying not to believe.
“Okay,” she said slowly as if it were more to reassure herself than anything else. “Okay,” she repeated, and then she looked up and brought her hand to Nick’s hair, pushing some curls back from his forehead so they weren’t in front of his eyes anymore. Hope began to replace the helplessness that had been in his chest for a while now. “I’m really glad you boys confided in me, I wish you’d come to me earlier but…that doesn’t matter now.” She was putting on a brave face, she was absolutely terrified but they needed her so she was determined to be there for them. “The point is you came to me now.” She held out a hand and stood up, beginning to pace as if to distract herself, “We’ve got to make sure you’re taking the right vitamins and we should set up an appointment with a doctor and make sure everything is alright with the baby…”
It was almost too much, in a good way, and Nick stood up and stopped Denise in her tracks, pulling her into a big hug. “Thank you, Mommy,” he whispered and she hugged him back. It was like this huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders, one he hadn’t even known was there; he’d been carrying it around for so long that he’d just gotten used to it or thought it blended in with all the others. He felt another arm behind his back as Denise pulled Joe into the hug, too.
“I will always love you boys, always. I would do anything for you. You could kill me and I would still love you, you got that?” Nick nodded and sniffed, holding back tears. He hated crying, he hardly ever cried and he was totally blaming it on hormones now as he squeezed his eyes shut and clung to Joe and their mother; clung like they were a life vest and he were alone in the middle of the ocean. “I would love you even if your nose fell off or something. Nothing you could do would make me love you less.” He laughed but it was half-sob and she said, “Shhh, it’s gonna be okay. You’re both totally grounded, but…everything will be okay.”
~*~*~
They told Kevin that night and he took it better than they'd expected, he just said to let him get used to it. Their mother had told them to let her ‘handle’ their father, so they did. The next morning Denise helped them look for an apartment and they weren’t sure if she had told their dad or not, but he wasn’t acting as if anything was different. He didn’t make any remarks about Nick’s weight, though, but otherwise he acted as if he didn’t know which suited them just fine. Better he pretend the situation didn’t exist than go ape-shit on them. Joe went on a solo tour and filmed a non-Disney movie that really helped his acting career while the group took a break for the sake of Nick’s health.
After the movie, though, Joe vanished from the public and he and Nick spent most of their time together at home with Joe taking care of Nick who had gotten a lot bigger than they’d thought he would. The doctor had mentioned (after getting over the shock) that because he was carrying twins (girls…what a nightmare this was going to be!) he’d swell up like a balloon practically overnight, and it had been true.
They were still a month from the due date in September and Nick couldn’t think of a better birthday gift, even if sometimes he had moments of temporary insanity where he cursed Joe’s name for his part in all of this. Then again, Nick had been the sober one for the most part; he’d also been the one on top. He could have stopped it, so he tried not to curse Joe out too often even if Joe didn’t take it personally. They both knew it was the hormones and the mood changes talking and they were both happy about this, even if Nick didn’t always show it.
“Joooooe,” he called, shivering slightly from the breeze coming in through the open window. The apartment was in Manhattan and high up enough that they didn’t have to worry about paparazzi sneaking pictures, and it overlooked Central Park. Like magic, his brother appeared in the doorway shirtless and holding a spatula, a bit of flour on his cheek which made Nick smile. It was obvious that the older Jonas had been cooking breakfast for them and Nick sighed, just enjoying the view for a moment before he asked, “Can you get me that blanket?” rather indulgently.
Alright, Nick probably could have dealt with the pain and discomfort of getting it himself, but he really just used any excuse to have Joe near that he could. Joe put the spatula down on the dresser and walked towards Nick slowly; reaching over and picking up the blanket draped across the rocking chair and making it look sexy as he did so. “Anything you want, Baby Boy…” he said, voice low enough to make Nick shiver again and not from the cold. Somehow Joe managed to make even this act intimate as he spread the blanket over Nick, leaning over to tuck in the edges around the younger man’s swollen form. Pulling an arm free, Nick reached up and wrapped his fingers behind Joe’s neck and yanked him down, licking the flour off his cheek with a small smile.
Joe’s laugh was like pure sunshine and first snowfall all at the same time, like the rain after a drought. Then their lips met, clashed as Joe kept his balance so he didn’t fall on Nick and crush him. Joe’s tongue licked inside, tasting the flour still in Nick’s mouth as they deepened the kiss, slowed it down to really enjoy it. He could feel desire and lust beginning to take control and he tugged at Joe’s neck, trying to get his lover to get back into bed with him and it seemed like it might work, but an annoying beep beep could be heard in the background and Joe pulled away suddenly. “The pancakes!” he said and pulled away, mostly jogging back towards the kitchen and Nick shook his head, a stupid grin showing from ear to ear.
The next time Joe came in he was carrying a plate stacked with pancakes, several of which may have been slightly burnt but they had chocolate chips in them. “Sorry,” he murmured about the fact that they were burnt.
“Let me look,” Nick said and poked at one with a fork. One side was perfectly golden and the other was definitely browner than perfect, but oh well. “It was worth it,” he said positively, “Besides…burning things can give them more flavor?” Joe smiled and even though they both knew that the pancakes wouldn’t be as good now, they had enough maple syrup to cover the taste.
Joe sat on the bed with his own plate which looked worse than the ones he’d given to Nick and handed over the syrup so the pregnant one could use as much of it as he wanted before he handed it back to Joe. They checked his levels and Joe gave Nick an insulin injection, “You’re amazing, did you know that?” Nick asked conversationally.
“You’re amazing, Nick.” Before they could start having the age-old argument he amended his statement, “We’re both amazing.” He thought about it before nodding satisfactorily and spearing some pancake on his fork and taking a bite of the sugary goodness. “I love you…”
“Love you, too” Nick replied as their eyes met and Joe put down his mostly uneaten pancakes on his night table. Nick did the same as Joe made a show of crawling the short distance and straddling his legs.“Now where were we?” he asked, kissing Nick like he had earlier before letting his lips fall lower, kissing and licking his way down Nick’s body. Since it was just the two of them in the three-bedroom apartment (the third bedroom was mostly a guest room and for pretense, it had some of Joe’s stuff in it but they really shared the biggest room), they usually didn’t wear anything at all so clothing wasn’t even an issue as Joe’s mouth found Nick’s half-hard cock and enveloped it in heated wetness. He felt a rush as his dick filled the rest of the way then a stab of pain and he gasped.
“Uh…Joe,” he said and Joe pulled off his shaft with a soft pop. “A different timer just went off.” It was time.