Well, Shit Happens

Yesterday was one of those days when everything just goes wrong. Characters: a bully, a friend, someone who I thought was my friend but who has started to pull away and made a comment that hurt more than he might realise. The sky was gloomy, and everything looked colourless, withering. I kept fantasizing about dying, although I believe I am too much of a coward to commit suicide. But then I remembered that this is not the first time I was being let down. People have let me down in the past, and with each time, I am beginning to get over it sooner. Yesterday I had my few hours of tears and self-pity, but I feel good that I was able to get myself back together in a shorter time than ever. Well, either I am becoming stronger or I have got so used to being disappointed. Interesting thought, I have to say. It is liberating in a weird way. After a point, you stop caring. For me, that point was yesterday. No matter how bad things are, they always get better. I can’t see it now, but there will be a way. There always is. Meanwhile, I have two great comforts: my books, and science. At least, they never let you down.

Also, the sun was glorious this morning. It floated like a golden coin on the horizon. Just wanted to note that, because it was a beautiful sight.

A Slightly Depressing Yet Ultimately Hopeful New Year Post

They say the darkest hour comes before the dawn. But when there are so many dark hours, I catch myself wondering whether this is the moment before dawn or just another of those dark moments.
I truly hope this was the darkest hour and that what comes next will be the dawn. Someone has recently let down all my trust in humanity, but another person, a friend, has risen up to show unexpected kindness, it took me by surprise. Although I am now torn between trust and mistrust, the one act of selfless acceptance by my friend shines through to give me enough hope for the coming year.
Happy New Year to all! To hope, to the dawn!

Autumn Limbo

Time feels still today
It is a quiet autumn Sunday.
The silent hum in the air,
Cadence of an eternal prayer.

The world hangs in limbo;
Mild and mellow, a subdued rainbow
All existence, in a moment of pause
Frozen in a potent repose.

Silence in the Crowd

Silence piercing through the days
Mingled with scanty sun-rays,
Gathering into beautiful solitude,
Sometimes a bitter-sweet prelude.

Drops of silence in the crowd
Pauses, held breath, ringing loud
Like the gaps between music notes
Vital, unnoticed, silence floats.

A Slap on My Face, With a Book

The recent couple of posts have been a bit on the serious side, so let this one be more on the light side. Something I came across on the internet today reminded me of one of my “I can’t believe I did that” moments. So, let me tell you about the time I bought the (in)famous self help book, “The Secret”. Yeah, yeah, I know, please go ahead and laugh at me. I will wait while you collect yourself.

Okay, done? Shall we get back to the topic then? All right, I confess I did buy the weird *cough* stupid*cough* book. A hard-copy. Yeah. In my defense, I thought it had something to do with ‘Aladdin and the Magic Lamp’ from the Arabian Nights (hey, that’s what they showed in the ads!). being the sucker for fantasy that I am, I didn’t think too much before buying it. As it happened, I asked my father to get a copy on his way home from work, which means I did not get a chance to flip through before buying the damn thing. My mistake.

As I was started reading the book, I was slightly disappointed, but decided not to judge it, expecting to find at least some positive and useful tips about life. After reading the last page, I double-checked to make sure that it was really over. It was… confounding, to put it mildly. The book seemed pointless, like the author was trying to say something, but lost her train of thought in the process. There was much talk about some law of attraction but even after reading the whole book, it was still unclear what on earth it could be. I tried googling about it, but all the descriptions seemed rather vague. I kid you not when I say that it was a couple of days before I realised that whatever I read in the book was probably all I was going to find. Ah, sometimes you have to be slapped in the face by life to learn a lesson.

If anyone reading this is a fan of the book or the author, I don’t mean to offend you, but I would like to suggest that there are better books out there that actually give practical advice and don’t leave you befuddled in a surge of warm, cozy feelings. If it is a feel-good book you need, there are plenty of others that do the job, but also with an entertaining story in them. If you want sensible advice and a concrete plan, go for something else. I found “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen R Covey to be helpful, because the concepts were laid out in a methodical and logical fashion (just don’t ask me how much I actually follow; I love making plans, not necessarily executing them). I think it avoids too many trimmings and fillers. More to the point, it doesn’t say things like, “let me show you how to be superman (or superwoman), with this magic pill!” (Disclaimer: I have not read any of his other books, so I can’t speak for them)

That was one of the stupid things I did. What about you? Feel free to share something you did that made you say, “I can’t believe I did that!” Come on, we are all friends here! 😉