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So the major problem with the XY problem is that Y is not possible, but you don't know how much of your design to unwind to get back to the X which is possible. You usually don't even know that Y is impossible without actually asking. You don't know what you don't know

So the major problem with the XY problem is that Y is not possible, but you don't know how much of your design to unwind to get back to the X which is possible. You usually don't even know that Y is impossible without actually asking. You don't know what you don't know. Therefore it is unavoidable

1. Answer the OP's question. Even though the OP probably needs something else, never neglect to answer the question they have actually asked first and not the question you think they want answered. In some cases that answer may be "Y is not possible". Too often I see responses (comments) asking "why do you need that?". This gives the OP nothing. If you say "That's going to be really hard. Explain why you need it we may be able to help" then in a lot of cases an OP will simply take the "Y is really hard" and go back to the drawing board... That's fine because you've answered their question and they may well come back with question X themselves.

2. Discuss the OP's attempted solution. This bit's tricky and takes some thought. But I can't stress how important it is. If the OP has asked for Y and you think they want X then after answering their question (1) carry on to talking about Y (NOT X). What is Y supposed to be used for? How is it not applicable to X? The crucial thing is to carry on talking about the question but move from answering it to providing helpful information. Because after all that's what you think the OP needs. Helpful information and not the answer to their question.

3. Solve X This is what you've been itching to do and is the whole point of your response after all. You've met the OP on their terms and answered their question. You've helped them to understand the failings of their question and why solving Y is not the thing to do... so now you're completely free to explain a solution to X.

1. Answer the OP's question. Even though the OP probably needs something else, never neglect to answer the question they have actually asked first and not the question you think they want answered. In some cases that answer may be "Y is not possible". Too often I see responses (comments) asking "why do you need that?". This gives the OP nothing. If you say "That's going to be really hard. Explain why you need it we may be able to help" then in a lot of cases an OP will simply take the "Y is really hard" and go back to the drawing board... That's fine because you've answered their question and they may well come back with question X themselves.

2. Discuss the OP's attempted solution. This bit's tricky and takes some thought. But I can't stress how important it is. If the OP has asked for Y and you think they want X then after answering their question (1) carry on to talking about Y (NOT X). What is Y supposed to be used for? How is it not applicable to X? The crucial thing is to carry on talking about the question but move from answering it to providing helpful information. Because after all that's what you think the OP needs. Helpful information and not the answer to their question.

3. Solve X This is what you've been itching to do and is the whole point of your response after all. You've met the OP on their terms and answered their question. You've helped them to understand the failings of their question and why solving Y is not the thing to do... so now you're completely justified in explaining a solution to X.

1. Answer the OP's question. Even though the OP probably needs something else, never neglect to answer the question they have actually asked first and not the question you think they want answered. In some cases that answer may be "Y is not possible". Too often I see responses (comments) asking "why do you need that?". This gives the OP nothing. If you say "That's going to be really hard. Explain why you need it we may be able to help" then in a lot of cases an OP will simply take the "Y is really hard" and go back to the drawing board... You've answered their question.

2. Discuss the OP's attempted solution. This bit's tricky and takes some thought. But I can't stress how important it is. If the OP as asked for Y and you think they want X then after answering their question (1) carry on to talking about Y (NOT X). What is Y supposed to be used for? How is it not applicable to X? The crucial thing is to carry on talking about the question but move from answering it to providing helpful information. Because after all that's what you think the OP needs. Helpful information and not the answer to their question.

3. Solve X This is what you've been itching to do and is the whole point of your response after all. You've met the OP on their terms and answered their question. You've helped them to understand the failings of their question and why solving Y is not the thing to do... so now you're completely free to explain a solution to X.

Most people are here to learn so parts 1 and 2 of this answer are as important as part 3. But too often part 3 is given on it's own and it is extremely frustrating to the OP not to mention a lot of OPs will not accept the answer.

1. Answer the OP's question. Even though the OP probably needs something else, never neglect to answer the question they have actually asked first and not the question you think they want answered. In some cases that answer may be "Y is not possible". Too often I see responses (comments) asking "why do you need that?". This gives the OP nothing. If you say "That's going to be really hard. Explain why you need it we may be able to help" then in a lot of cases an OP will simply take the "Y is really hard" and go back to the drawing board... That's fine because you've answered their question and they may well come back with question X themselves.

2. Discuss the OP's attempted solution. This bit's tricky and takes some thought. But I can't stress how important it is. If the OP has asked for Y and you think they want X then after answering their question (1) carry on to talking about Y (NOT X). What is Y supposed to be used for? How is it not applicable to X? The crucial thing is to carry on talking about the question but move from answering it to providing helpful information. Because after all that's what you think the OP needs. Helpful information and not the answer to their question.

3. Solve X This is what you've been itching to do and is the whole point of your response after all. You've met the OP on their terms and answered their question. You've helped them to understand the failings of their question and why solving Y is not the thing to do... so now you're completely free to explain a solution to X.

Most people are here to learn so parts 1 and 2 of this answer are as important as part 3. But too often part 3 is given on it's own and it is extremely frustrating and patronising to the OP not to mention a lot of OPs will not accept the answer.